the opposite of thanksgiving...

ok, i know that some of you read this blog and think “she is really SO spiritually mature” or perhaps “she has it ALL together” or even “how can such a paragon of sheer perfection live amongst us mortals”...

aren’t you thinking those kind of thoughts?

no you aren’t? then i am not doing my job correctly (no wonder i am not getting paid to blog)...

anyway, even if you WERE thinking anything like those thoughts, i will now burst that bubble by telling you a little tale of “un-thanksgiving”...

and to spice it up, let’s start at the ending...

where you find me on my hands and knees on my bathroom floor sobbing and crying out to the sovereign Lord, “oh God on High, why don’t i have a LINEN CLOSET?????????”

don’t you love a good emotional ending set on the bathroom floor? i know of NO famous novels that end that way, quite unique is this tale of woe and weeping on the cold tile... now onto the beginning of the story...

it all began quite innocently enough (words that have been typed WAY too many times on this blog) when we went to adam’s younger brother matt’s house in south carolina for thanksgiving. to their NEW house, to their CRACK-A-LACKA brand spanking HUGE and WONDERFUL new house, full of NEW and WONDERFUL furniture and classy accessories...

and WALK IN CLOSETS EVERYWHERE... in bedrooms, in hallways, in bathrooms. closets, closets everywhere and nary a thing out of place.

and even though i had been having this lovely “fall season of contentedness” wherein i was so happy with my little old home, my peeling paint, my nowhere to store anything and “isn’t that nice because it keeps me from being a packrat” philosophy. i was so sure of my “it doesn’t matter whether i ever have any new couches in this lifetime” sense of superiority spirituality. on yes, i was nice and proud of my “not so big house”  contented feeling that i had mastered...

and it all vanished in one LONG tour of this mansion marshall... 

yes, all that nice contentment that was so paul-like that i almost thought i might write some more books of the new testament... 

yeah baby, that vanished like the slice of pumpkin pie i had for thanksgiving dessert. i coveted that house, i coveted EVERY inch of it, EVERY new couch in it... EVERY new bedspread, EVERY new tempur-pedic mattress (which maybe if i link to them, they will give me a mattress and if you check out their website it will explain how every tempur-pedic mattress is scientific and has a soul. i tell you i coveted the soul of those mattresses), and i earnestly yearned for EVERY inch of all that lovely lovely closet space. and that was a lot for one gal to covet in a few short days, but i am an over-achiever...

and then i came home to hovel-marshall. 

now the only saving grace in this whole thing was that we came home to 6 people (former college students) having a hot wing party in my house. 3 of them were staying at our house while we were gone (and for one night while we were back). now why would hovel-marshall be made more pleasant with 6 more bodies jam packed into it?

because you see, my nice little pity party was made more spiritual (in my mind) because i just kept thinking about ALL the lovely Bible studies i could host if my home was larger, how many more former college student could stay if i had say 3 guest rooms and a linen closet to store more linens for these guests. how i would use every new couch and tempur-pedic mattress totally to the glory of the Lord.. yes, very spiritual. paul and i have SO much to discuss in heaven...

and then i arrive home and everyone is there having a great time with lots of hot wings and they are jam packed sitting on that 20 year old couch laughing and feeling like maybe this is the only house in the world they want to be in on a cold rainy saturday night. and it doesn’t matter that there aren’t any guest rooms or linen closets. they just want to be here with our family.

but that still doesn’t quiet my soul. it quells it for a few days, but all is not well with my soul...

because tuesday, i have to clean the house for my Bible study ladies group meets on wednesday. and so i am in the bathroom, cleaning around the toilet and cleaning the floor on my hands and knees because that bathroom is so tiny that i can reach EVERY surface from one spot on the floor. and then i am trying to shove the ONE extra towel that we have for guests underneath the single sink storage area and it hits me....

THAT I WANT A LINEN CLOSET. i REALLY REALLY WANT A LINEN CLOSET

and WHY CAN’T I HAVE ONE? EVERYONE has a linen closet, don’t they? why doesn’t MY house have a linen closet?????????

the cattle on a thousand hills belong to you Lord and all i want is a stinkin’ linen closet.

which is really untrue, i don’t just want a linen closet. i also want a maid who will clean this bathroom, and i want my back to stop hurting like it has been doing for a week. and i want all the stuff i thought i was over wanting, like a new couch, and a new mattress, and a cool hip new kitchen, and a thousand other little sin errands that i like to run in my mind .

it was a full fledged pity party/hissy fit/ un-thanksgiving moment on my bathroom floor.

and then it was over. and i got up and realized that i was a 40 year old (well, 41 year old) relatively healthy (except for the aching back) wife and mother who was crying to the Lord for a linen closet (and a thousand other useless things). and i folded the one extra towel, finished cleaning the bathroom, and went and tried to get over myself.

it isn’t easy. and i am not done. and most likely won’t be done until i am in heaven.

finally living in my mansion...

with my linen closet...

 because He said there would be “many rooms” and i am sure that means a linen closet...

Transient

here is the stunning view from one of their three levels of back porches... see i have NOTHING to be envious of, do i... there is nothing here to desire... i am completely satisfied with the view from my singular patio...

kids, let’s all toast to my incredible contentedness, however i will need something stronger than sparkling cider to help foster my incredible contentedness....

Transient