about that boy in particular. the one in the safety glasses. he should have been wearing them when we looked up his grades online yesterday.
because what commenced after i saw his grades was an explosion worthy of those glasses.
seems he hasn’t been turning in some of his work for his language arts class, specifically his weekly book reviews. he reads ALL THE TIME and he does his review pages and each one is supposed to be signed by me (this is the first time i am hearing this and the 9 week grading period is over by now) and he keeps forgetting to ask me to sign each one and so he can’t turn it in and so he has about 5 zeros for homework in one subject and those don’t play well with the other grades. they kind of drag the other good grades on tests down into the lower half of the scale from 1-100. if you do the math. which he can do, because he did all his math homework and got better grades in math. not great grades, but better grades.
and i had a nice little meltdown in front of him. and it made him cry.
and i apologized later.
and then when i took him to his rehearsal at FSU for “waiting for godot” (which starts next week so he is busy busy busy- again ugh.) i mentioned to the director that his grades weren’t good and that was wrong of me and i apologized for it this morning and he cried and said it embarrassed him.
ugh. (ugh is now code for “i am the worst mother in the world”)
and then claire toman came over. she comes and hangs out with maxx and i for about 30 minutes and then we take her to middle school every morning. and she is adorable and sweet and maxx is so kind to her. she has down’s syndrome and she thinks i am a rock star and that maxx is her big brother. and i was worried about how his attitude would be this morning because we had just had the apology/cry time and he was still a bit quiet and sad and not really talking to me (ugh.).
and she walked in and he greeted her so cheerfully and then he read aloud to her (which they do sometimes) and then they played the “magnet/paperclip game” which they play EVERY SINGLE DAY even though it is not a really exciting game to anyone but claire. and i have played it a time or two, so i know of which i speak. and maxx plays it EVERY DAY with her. and he plays it with a joy and vigor that one would think it was the newest wii game.
and i was thinking that he may forget to turn in homework. he may not be the most focused child ever. but he is kind. and he knows how to love. he knows how to be a friend to a girl who wants to play the magnet/paperclip game EVERY DAY. he opens the car door for her and he walks her to her waiting area before school when he most likely would rather be in his area with some of the guys. but he does all that with a truly joyful heart. he doesn’t fake it. he doesn’t phone it in. he joyfully serves her.
and somewhere that has to be more important than turning in your reading reports nice and neat and signed by me.
it won’t ever go on your permanent record here on earth. but i think there might be another tally somewhere. and he is making an “A” on some of those assignments.
and in that other tally somewhere, i might be the one not turning in my work, not finishing my assignments joyfully, patiently, and with a serving loving heart. i might be failing in some areas even though all my boxes are checked and signed and turned in and my report card is all shiny and full of pretty “A”s.