if you had told me...

10 years ago that today some of my best friends would be half my age, i would have laughed. 

Transient

if you had told me that my family would grow by adding dozens of college students to my table, my home, my life, and my heart, i would have laughed.

if you had told me that i would have more college boys eating dinner in my home today than i ever had eating dinner in my apartment when i was actually in college, i would have laughed and said that they would never want to eat my cooking and spend time with our family.

if you had even mentioned the fact that i would bicycle hundreds of miles with 20 year olds when i was close to 40 years old and a certified couch potato, i would have fallen on the floor in hysterical uncontrollable giggles and then needed a nap.

if you had told me that i would share my life, my happy moments, my stressful moments, and my deepest feelings with these younger friends who are more like my family, i would have told you that you were crazy and that i had enough friends, enough family, and enough children to deal with on my own, thank you very much.

i am glad no one told me, i am glad that God had it all planned and didn’t let me know because i wouldn’t have believed Him and it has been much more fun to find it out so unexpectedly. it does make me laugh and it makes me smile and it makes me cry out in thankfulness to Him and His amazing Ways. 

i am continually amazed at how each new student brings a new place in my heart that loves them, i keep thinking my heart is full and i have no more room, but i always do have the room. i know now how each one leaving breaks my heart and i never stop thinking of them and praying for them and caring for them. 

i love it when they are at my house all hanging out and i KNOW where they are and i KNOW they are safe, i understand parenthood and friendship in different ways now thanks to them. i understand loving them when they make different decisions that i would have made, when they suffer consequences for their actions and i wish they didn’t have to go through those times, but know that they are being refined. it is hard to watch and we TRY not to intervene (and sometimes we do intervene and hope and pray that we don’t ever stand IN the place of God but are only doing what He would have us to do).

if you had told me all these lessons that i would learn, i would have said that it was too much and i was not capable of this, not cool enough, too busy, and a dozen other excuses. i am glad that no one told me but i am more glad that He has allowed a shallow, uncool, middle aged gal like me to participate with Him in this adventure. and i hope He keeps me along for the ride because it is a darn good time and sometimes it makes me laugh uncontrollably rolling around on the floor and it makes me need a nap...