a long long time ago... before i had children, i had ideas... great ideas, inspiring ideas, beautiful ideas, all about what kind of mom i would be.
one of those many many ideas involved me being the BEST field trip mom EVER. going on EVERY field trip with my lovely children. wearing color coordinated outfits. singing traveling songs as we rode along...and that rosy pictured involved me loving loving loving being THE BEST field trip mom EVER.
i also thought i would always be a size 6.
and a real blonde.
(insert sound of cricket chirping here).
but some dreams don’t come true.
and for me the field trip one died quickly. like when millie was in first grade. actually another mom who had a child in her class gave me some great advice. see this mom was the mom who was on her LAST child in first grade. and on was on my FIRST child in first grade. i was all young, full of vim and vigor, and field trip plans. the other mom and i were on the first field trip on the year and i was not feeling so well riding on the bus. seems i am not a good bus rider in my middle age. i prefer to drive rather than ride (can you say “CONTROL ISSUES”? yes, i knew you could say it.) i asked the wiser, more seasoned mom if she had any dramamine or advil. or a gun to put me out of my misery. she pulled out some advil (and was promptly arrested by the school officials due to their ZERO TOLERANCE DRUG POLICY... just kidding) and confessed that she wasn’t a good bus rider either which was why this was her ONE field trip. with each child she only went on ONE field trip. and the child got to choose which one. not ONE A YEAR, but ONE for the entire elementary school duration. unless she could drive. then she might drive over and join them.... might.
and at that moment, with my head splitting open and my stomach turning circles... i made a vow. ONE FIELD TRIP. per child. per elementary school. and to take dramamine. that was a part of the vow. dramamine.
so my ONE trip has been the 5th grade celebration trip. millie’s class went to sea world. maxx’s to wild adventures (the photo at the start of this post is from that trip). and i will accompany rosalea to sea world in may. that is MY TRIP. i take the dramamine and i have a GREAT time on that ONE trip. i take so many photos that the kids think i went on EVERY trip. i sing the travel songs. we wear matching t-shirts. it is my dream. a ONE time ONLY appearance by the FIELD TRIP MOM OF THEIR DREAMS.
i always let the teacher know that if she is DESPERATE and someone cancels at the last minute that i CAN go on a field trip (but that i might puke if i don’t have time to dramamine up, that usually deters the last minute calls)... i am the BACK UP, LAST MINUTE, THE TEACHER IS TOTALLY DESPERATE mom. not quite the dream of my BEST FIELD TRIP mom vision. but it works for me. i have gone on a couple of “extra” field trips. taken dramamine. and survived. lived to tell. once adam had to go on the trip because it was a BACK UP, LAST MINUTE, THE TEACHER IS TOTALLY DESPERATE call and i really couldn’t do it. and he could. ha ha. the jacksonville zoo and a class of third graders will never be the same.
sooooooooo, all this to say that i got the BACK UP, LAST MINUTE, THE TEACHER IS TOTALLY DESPERATE call a few weeks ago about maxx’s all state chorus trip to tampa. wednesday- saturday. and i have to share a room with three other moms. from other schools. moms i don’t know. i have to share a room. a bed. a bathroom with 3 strangers. and listen to rehearsals of middle school kids singing all day. strangers by night. middle school singers by day. and it isn’t that i don’t like to hear middle schoolers sing (but it isn’t in my top 25 things i like to do list). and it is ALL DAY rehearsals. of the same songs. did i mention the ALL DAY part. for three days. and then the fourth day... a concert. of the same songs that i have listened to for three days.
i emailed the details of the trip to a friend to sympathize and this was her email back to me...
That just sounds like pure hell. Hell in every sense of the word. Hell. Hell. Hell.
Drugs and caffeine. It's the only advice I can come up with. Oh yeah, and take Adam’s iPad.
i like her. i like the way she uses her words. and the way she agrees with me. she offers some good suggestions, like drugs, caffeine, and adam’s ipad. i am going to follow her advice. who wouldn’t follow the advice of someone who uses the word “hell” five times in one email?
on the upside... i do get to drive. on the downside.... a rental car so it will be on the school’s insurance should i try to drive into a ditch to avoid listening to another rehearsal. i don’t want to drive a rental car (shall we revisit my CONTROL ISSUES? let’s not). let’s just use the world HELL one more time.
i did buy three new books to take. kind of a bribe for myself. to be on my best behavior.
and i have switch by chip and dan heath to finish
and i am thinking this one looks good... i hope they serve beer in hell by tucker max... JUST KIDDING. i am not going to read that. but i am going to talk to that tucker max guy for stealing the title of MY autobiography.
so all that reading ought to keep me busy and happy during the rehearsals. and maybe make me look really nerdy to my roommates so they will not want to mess with me. because i could hurt them with my mind. or hit them with my bag full of books.
pray for my attitude. pray for the middle schoolers. pray for me three stranger roomies. and the city of tampa.and for me not to use the word HELL in the next 5 days....