remember how i told you that i don't give advice...
a friend asked me for advice last week (i had yet to write my "i don't give advice" blog post), and i told her that i don't give advice. i told her to pray. search the Scriptures. and to trust God. that's all i got people. that's it.
but i thought later that i did have a little advice for her... and i will offer it here. thus proving that i like to break my own rules. i am such a rebel.
my dear friend is the mother of lots of children. like more than 3 and less than 100. and she is struggling with fear of letting them go. letting them out of her sight for an extended period of time. frankly if i had more than 3 children i would have to let some of them out of my sight for YEARS at a time. i can't look at more than 3 kids for an extended period of time. i only have two eyes. how can i even watch 3 kids?
so back to "fearful mama." her kids are all ages 30 and up. ha . just kidding. they are teenagers and down to adorable toddlers. and it is those teenagers that she wants to let try out their wings a bit. but there is fear involved in watching them try their wings. especially if you are not right there by their side. they may crash. they most likely will. have you met teenagers? crash test dummies crash less than they do...
so here is how i deal/dealt with/will continue to deal with fear. and i got a plenty of fear sister. on those rare/everyday occasions where i let it take me into the dark places... i let it take me there for a moment (so much for that "take every thought captive" system) but i have one caveat for fear... i let it take me there and then i utter these words when i am imagining the WORSE (and i have a vivid imagination)...
"in all my vain imaginings of this HORRIBLE future... is God still God in this future?"
and even in my WILDEST imaginings, i cannot imagine a future where God is not God.
the worse could happen. it does happen. and i know women who have endured those WORSE days...
- your husband is convicted of a horrible crime.
- "i am in love with someone else."
- your checking, savings, any account you ever had is empty.
- "hello mam, are you ______'s mother? he is in custody."
- your daughter has a brain tumor. they say it is inoperable.
- "i am sorry to tell you that we don't think you are ever going to get pregnant."
- your high school senior isn't going to graduate with his class.
- "mom, i don't want to be a Christian anymore."
- the adoption fell through.
- "this pregnancy isn't viable."
but EVERY one of these woman walked into that day with God as God. and that same God that saw them through that WORSE day has continued to walk with them to this very day. He is still God. and He has used a lot of these WORSE days to do some of the MOST AMAZING things i have ever seen.
He has a way of working the WORST things into the BEST things.
He did that with a dark day 2000 years ago. when He turned away from His Son hanging on a cross. for a moment He left Him alone on the WORST day ever. so that we wouldn't ever face our WORST day alone. His grace will cover our WORST days.
it covers our REAL worst days. it doesn't cover my imagined worst days though. those aren't real.
but God is real. His love is real. His grace is real. He is near to you on your best day. and holds you even tighter on those worst days. your shaking doesn't shake Him.
so "fearful mama" no matter what you are imagining... most likely it won't happen. but even if it does. even if it is WORSE than WORSE than WORSE, God is still there. He is in control. He is always Good. He is always Loving you. on the best days. on the worst days. and He is the Judge of best and worst and we don't always have the eyes to see which is which.
let's look a little wider on that verse i used on the previous post. i think it will speak to "fearful mama" and to me. and maybe to those of you having a WORST day. or a best day...
Isaiah 49:15-17 Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!
See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.
Your children hasten back, and those who laid you waste depart from you.
he hasn't forgotten. He sees you. He sees your fearful self. He sees how the WORST has laid you waste. still perfect Love drives out fear. it makes the waste depart from you. so whatever the WORST day brings... He will take the trash out. the WORST will not be WASTEful. it will be of great WORTH.
1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.