then ask someone else. i don't really give advice anymore.
want to know why i am a plus sized gal? because i have eaten so many of my words.
rich rich words. and lots of them going back down my gullet. they stuck in my throat. and they burned going back down...
i feel a lot like the 2nd earl of rochester. whoever the heck he was. but he did have this great quote...
“Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.”
John Wilmot (2nd Earl of Rochester) quotes (English Poet, 1647-1680)
still have a theory about HOW to raise children? have another child. that will help destroy that theory. because no two children are the same. thank goodness i only had three theories.
i used to teach a parenting class. i told sweet younger moms how to do everything "right". i don't teach that class anymore. no one was really asking me to teach it again.
but i like to say that i became too smart to teach it... not smart about parenting. but about how "wrong" "right" could turn out. and how i didn't want to lead people into any more legalism. i don't think you should teach classes in things you haven't graduated from yet. at least i shouldn't. i don't need to eat any more words. or think i am doing it "right". that isn't good for me. i think it stalls the sanctification process...
“The only people who get better are people who know that, if they never get better, God will love them anyway.” ― Steve Brown, A Scandalous Freedom: The Radical Nature of the Gospel
not that there aren't a million WISE ways to raise kids. but there isn't one RIGHT way... except praying like crazy. reading the Scriptures and asking God to tell you what YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND ALONE need to know about your children. your family. your parenting.
i believe in raising children in the fear and admonition of the Lord. and that will look very different at your house than at mine. because God has gifted you in different ways than He has gifted me. He has made your kids more or less introverted than mine. or manic raging extraverts. or a crazy wild mixture of both. and He has given me three children. not one. not two. and praise His Almighty Name, not 12 or 20.
i do hang out with some of the wisest ladies ever. older ladies with children who are grown. and most of the advice they give me are these three words...
i don't know.
ugh. those "mature Christians" are so frustrating. i need some kind of "12 steps and it will all be perfect" plan. "check these boxes and then take a nap" plan. seems that no one i admire has one of those to hand out.
then after these older wiser women whip out their "i don't know"s they tell me to pray. to read Scripture. to obey what God is telling me. even if it involves doing something different than the way they did it. they aren't so confidant that they did it "right." they are more confident in a God who cannot do anything wrong. they know He will guide and lead us in His paths. they believed Him when He said that He gives wisdom to those who ask Him. His path for me is especially tailored for me. for who He is creating me to be... slowly. painfully. and on rare but beautiful occasions, very joyfully.
besides why would i hold out a post it note of advice to you when i could point you to the One who holds the whole world in His nail scarred hands?
Isaiah 49:16 See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.