cleaning and feeding...

millie is on her way home from bonoroo. don't know what that is? then i envy you.  

it is a 4 day woodstock-like concert event in the middle of tennessee. concerts all day. and all night. camping out. no showers. plenty of wacky people. paul mccartney played there this year. along with 100 other bands with strange names that you never heard of. unless you are my daughter. and the 80,000 other people that went there.

i will say that the names of the areas are pretty clever... centeroo, which stage, what stage, this tent, that tent, and that other tent. those are the names of the places where artists performed. and there was poetry in every port-a-potty. i do admire that dedication to elimination education.

 

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it just wasn't an activity that i thought a good parent should let her child go to... but she is 19 and she paid for it with her own money. she went. not with our blessing. but with our prayers. and as much safety advice as we could cram down her and her 6 friends' throats. and with lots of water to stave of dehydration and a pepper spray key chain. those were our contributions.

i was at least hoping it would rain the whole time or be miserably hot. i might have even prayed for those things.  and for the whole event to be cancelled or go bankrupt or be attacked by locusts. i figure God loves a good locust attack...

but the weather was great. nary a locust in sight. and she had a wonderful time and loved it... sigh. and most likely has a bonoroo tattoo that i hopefully won't ever have to see.

where was God with a locust attack when i needed one... 

on a side note there also is a touring music show called the "don't pray for us tour". i prayed for them. i am such a rebel. i prayed for every band playing that tour and for everyone participating. i hope they all felt the spirit of the Lord.  

anyway... bonoroo happened and millie is on her way home.  

it was also ironic that as she was at bonoroo i was reading all about ann voskamp and her teenage daughter meeting their compassion child in africa on a trip this week. and another friend's teenage daughter was on a daddy daughter adventure trip to see shows and disneyland this week. sigh. those are things i would have preferred my teenage daughter to be doing this week. but then i am no ann voskamp. and my husband doesn't have the kind of job where he can just up and go on week long excursions with one of our children. but dang... those alternatives seem so much easier than my constantly praying for angels, big huge scary looking angels, to surround my daughter everywhere she goes at bonoroo.

so today i found myself home (for the first time in a long time) and CLEANING. like serious cleaning. not that this house didn't need it. you remember how may was trying to kill me? and then choir tour? and then i was all recovering with my friend at the beach for a week? well, this place was a little worse for no mom being home and lots of wear. but i really wanted everything to be CLEAN for millie. even though she hasn't showered and has been living outdoors for 5 days, i wanted her linens super clean. her towel fresh. the shower scrubbed. the floor vacuumed. 

it was a bit obsessive. and then i got a text from adam that he had sent to millie asking what time they would be home and what she wanted us to have for her to eat. well, i already had dinner planned and told him what i was making. and he said if she wanted something else he would pick it up for her. and that seemed obsessive to me...

but i thought about it as i scrubbed the bathroom floor... and it didn't feel so strange to me our parental desires...

i wanted to clean for her. he wanted to feed her. 

we are only trying to be word pictures of Christ to her. i want her to feel the freshness of clean things. how lovely it is to be clean and new. and to be home.

adam wants to feed her. to fill her up with good things. to have her know that she is home and all is well and we love her.

we can't be Christ to her. He alone offers a cleaning that never sullies. He alone offers the bread that satisfies. but He also allows us to feel the same desire on a human level as parents that He feels on a spiritual level.  

she doesn't want us to preach the gospel to her in words. so we preach it in clean sheets. a scrubbed shower. a warm meal. open arms when she returns home. 

and we pray... 

and we trust.

i was talking to someone about millie being at bonoroo and they said they could NEVER trust God like i do and let their child go to bonoroo. i said that sometimes He doesn't give you the choice. He just requires that i trust. and that i find that He gives me just enough faith to do those things that a year ago i couldn't imagine trusting Him enough to let her do.

and it may be a huge leap to say that i think Jesus would have liked bonoroo. well, some parts of it. He was always in places that we didn't expect Him to be. like on a cross. the most cursed way to die that there was...  

and He enjoyed those party people. the least religious people were the ones He liked to eat with. and maybe attend a concert or two... 

and He might even be a big fan of potty poetry. He does like the psalms...

i guess we will know One Day. when we get to heaven. if there is an area called "what gold street", "which gold street", and "that other gold street"...