what i almost did...

August 27, 2013

...was post something trite, trivial, and VERY hilarious on facebook and the twitter last night. about miley cyrus. i would write it here but that would defeat the whole purpose of this post. but you would LAUGH. oh, you would laugh.

so let's back up in case you are clueless about the whole miley cyrus VMA scene... which means you live under a rock (and if you do, will you invite me over?) because yesterday in above rock world you must have heard/saw/read something about miley cyrus twerking and licking and bootie shakin' (bootie shakin' turns out to actually be "twerking" and yes, i had to google "twerking" and now you don't have to. you are welcome.) and partially clad singing it up on the MTV awards show.

and so i had this really funny facebook status update to write about it all. HILAR. all fired up and ready to post...

then i read this blog post... how do we help miley? which from the title clears up that it isn't going to answer questions like...

How do we help a girl like Miley?

How do I keep from my daughter being like that?

What is this world coming to?

all valid questions. all thing i wish she had answered. because i don't know those answers either. and dang it I NEED SOMEONE TO TELL ME...

but as annie downs points out in a thoughtful blog post "how do we help miley?"...

"Miley still washed her face last night and climbed into bed at some point and in that most honest moment right before she fell asleep, I wonder if she was sad. Or embarrassed. Or if she is so deep in the rabbit hole of this whole thing that she felt nothing.

I want to yell down that rabbit hole and tell her to come back.

While today’s headlines are tearing her to shreds, we as Christians HAVE to sound different than the world. We HAVE to yell a different chant in her direction about how God made her on purpose and how she is valuable because of WHO she is, not WHAT she does." {annie downs, how do we help miley?}

and i thought about the questionable choices i make everyday that aren't televised. (THANK YOU JESUS!)

like the choice to eat a snowcone with condensed mik on top of it when clearly that is not the healthiest choice. (of course i did instagram that choice. and no one tweeted about what a stupid choice lea marshall had made.) the choice to facebook status or instagram for attention. the choice to be jealous of my friend's "perfect life or perfect kids or perfectly full bank account." the choice to not talk with my kids because i want to watch HGTV or the choice to not do something i need to do because "i deserve a nap."

and in a stunning slap of reality i realized that for the same reason miley twerked, i tweet (or facebook status update)... for attention. for applause. because i need something (other than God) to tell me that i am worthy. and adored.

i am actually living out the lyrics to her song that she sang on MTV... without the drug references. well, unless you call refined sugar and unsaturated fats and caffeine "drugs". and you could do that because i use them to quiet down the voices in my head. most likely the same reason most people do drugs...

because really i do what i want to do. my life could be her song "we can't stop." i can't stop eating unhealthy things. seeking applause. caring what everyone thinks about me. choosing pleasure over responsibility. on a regular basis.

and much like the song lyrics "i can say what i want... i can kiss who i want... i can shake it like i'm at a strip club." (ok really, no one wants to see me shake it like i'm at a strip club.) but i can do what i want. and most of the time... i do what i want to do.

but there are things that come with doing what i want... things i might not want. and miley or whoever else is doing what they want, when they want, how they want also cannot escape that some things are certain to come that you didn't want...

there are consequences to every choice. consequences to snowcones after dinner. or twerking on national television. consequences to living for applause or comments or likes on instagram. consequences to napping instead of cleaning, exercising, or calling a friend who has been on your heart. but some things get a bit more press than the others. thank goodness. i couldn't stand the bad press. (because i kind of live for positive affirmations. still not a good thing.)

which is why this all struck me this morning as kind of IRONIC because i am in the middle of preparing to teach our youth for 5 sunday evenings from the BEST two chapters in the Bible (i am partial to whatever i am in the middle of studying. kind of a "dance with the one who brung you" kind of mentality. in this case i am in a hot and heavy relationship with these two heady chapters in the new testament)....

romans 7 and 8.

i have been reading romans ALL summer. EVERY day. these two chapters and then selections from other chapters. OVER and OVER and OVER. and it has become familiar and yet always fresh.

and i have come to some conclusions...

romans 7 is all about reality.

and romans 8 is all about the Ideal that has become Real.

and right smack dab between the two concepts are these bold and beautiful verses...

romans 7:24-25 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

our reality meets His Ideal.

at the cross.

it is those verses that i cannot get used to in the Bible. can. not. get. over. them.

every time i see them it makes me cry. especially as i read them in context EVERY DAY. and EVERY time i come to those verses tears spring into my eyes.

first... because of the horror of the reality presented in romans 7. the horror of the reality that i see everyday on the news. in my own personal choices. in lives around me. in a beautiful young girl twerking on MTV. in an 45 year old woman who wants to tweet about it for some applause and giggles. WHO WILL RESCUE ME?

WHO WILL RESCUE ANY OF US?

but most of my tears are because i know romans 8 is coming. i know the Ideal has come to our Reality. i know it so well now that i am grateful to the point of tears springing into my eyes even before i read these famous verses of comfort. of JOY. of truth...

romans 8:1-2 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.

the gospel message is so very contained in those two verses at the end of romans 7. and then continues to the GOOD news of romans 8...

tim keller always says things so well...

The Gospel is that I am far worse than I imagine and simultaneously more loved and accepted by God than I ever dared hope for — because of Jesus death for me.

that entire dance/song on the VMA's was scorchingly hot. so was my realization that my own sinful heart leads me to seek the same attention (in yoga pants as opposed to teddy bear leotard. but i digress...) where were we? oh yes...scorched places. i have a few of them. a whole body of them. so does miley. so do you (i bet). but The Lord is watering my scorched heart with the truth of romans 7 and 8. every day. reality meets Ideal. the reality is though my heart and flesh may fail... on a daily, minutey, every second basis... God is my strength and He is my portion. forever.

my prayer is that He will be yours. that He will be my childrens'. that He will be miley's. scorched earth needs a cup of cool water. reality needs Ideal...

hermit...

August 12, 2013

substitute te word "blogger" for "friend" and hopefully this will be an adequate apology...

though blogging really can be done while hermitting.... (does hermitting has two t's or just one? and do hermits care about grammar?) but i just couldn't multi-task this summer. i barely solo-tasked. i suspect that once school is up and running and i have a more consistent schedule (or just any kind of schedule) that i will blog again.

right now my focus is packing my girl up for school. and trying not to sob all day long. see, i am multi-tasking.

i am REALLY multi-tasking because at the same time as wanting to sob all day long because our family will NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN, i am also so darn excited for her and all the GREAT things that i have heard about belmont and the opportunities she will have. i simply cannot believe how God has orchestrated all of these pieces and created the perfect university for her. i am able to multi-task the feeling of extreme peacefulness and gratefulness to God into my sobbing and excitement.

see how busy i am?

if you know millie at all, watch this little music video made by some belmont students. she reluctantly showed this to me because she knew it would make me laugh at how perfectly she was going to fit in there...

you also get a nice view of belmont's campus through the video so you can see where she will be next year. enjoy. and if you know her then i KNOW you will enjoy the video and laugh your head off...

summer time and the livin' is lazy...

July 11, 2013

too lazy to type on the computer anyway.

and it has rained all summer. everyday i think...

though all it has harvested in our yard is some monster weeds that are threatening to take over our home. unless i do something about these weeds. and if i am not getting up to type on the computer, do you think i am getting out to pull weeds?

i know that this season of rain and afternoons spent on the couch with my kids, spent at the beach house with my family, spent eating late night dinner and even later night popcorn with my teenagers, not doing anything of any importance may yield something...

hosea 6...

Come, let us return to the Lord.

He has torn us to pieces

but He will heal us;

he has injured us

but He will bind up our wounds...

...Let us acknowledge the Lord;

let us press on to acknowledge Him.

As surely as the sun rises,

He will appear;

He will come to us like the winter rains,

like the spring rains that water the earth...

Also for you, Judah,

a harvest is appointed...

i feel like this spring was a tearing to pieces of some things in my life in a sense and now is a season of rain... and one day a harvest?

that is usually how God works. let me only press on to acknowledge Him...

that word "acknowledge" in the hebrew means "to know by experience". not to hear about it and know. not to read it and know. but to LIVE IT and KNOW.

and to "press on" is to pursue it, to chase after this experienced knowledge. TO RUN AFTER these experiences that cause me to KNOW that He is loving and He is good when all the things happening are contradictory to those conclusions. what?!?!? chase after THOSE experiences? for me it is more like drag myself reluctantly (is there a hebrew word for "drag yourself reluctantly"? it would be really handy for situations that i find myself in...)

a harvest is appointed for those who press on...

moms surviving may...

June 1, 2013

so at the beginning of may i was talking with some other moms about how ROUGH the month of may is for moms...

and one mom mentioned that her mom always wanted to throw a "mothers surviving may" party at the end of may to celebrate their victorious survival of may. but that she was always too tired at the end of the month to throw a party.

not to mention that no one's house comes through may unscathed. and certainly not fit for a party or human eyes.

but that mom lived before facebook...

so 48 hours before may ended i created a facebook event and invited every mom friend on facebook. i even created a little graphic for our party.

and we had us a little "mothers surviving may" party at a local restaurant on friday night. just met there for as long as anyone could. drop in for drinks, dinner, or dessert. and toast to our survival of may.

i learned something interesting when i was subbing a few weeks ago in a middle school history class. casualties of war are not just those who died in the war... they are also those who were injured and couldn't continue to fight. those who ran away. and those captured by the enemy.

so i know there we a lot of casualties of the month of may. there were times i wanted to run away. times i was injured. times i thought the enemy had captured me. but at the end of the month there i was having a survivors dinner...

and there were also some other survivors... battle worn. weary. scarred. and yet ready to lift a glass to the ending of may.

we ended up having the BEST time. an eclectic group of ragtag veterans of the MAYhem of may. proud to be alive. and happy to have a drink in our hands. or a sugary dessert on our fork...

sometimes the best times are fairly spontaneous. just a few friends on a patio. laughing. reminiscing. enjoying each other's company. meeting new friends. and celebrating that we survived may. with a little help from our friends.

and the funniest part of this whole story is that i called the friends that i remembered being with when i heard about the idea for the party. they remembered somebody saying that their mom wanted to throw that party. but for the life of us NONE of us could remember whose mother had originally had the idea. the month of may had killed our memory.

so i can't even thank the original creator of "mothers surviving may". but i know she is out there. and i toast her for coming up with the idea and even though she never was able to throw her own party, i think she would celebrate with us that we were able to pull this together and make it happen.

and she would be THRILLED that may is over. for another year...