the year in review...

every year (since 2006. which was when i went back to a mac platform computer wise) i have been making photo slideshows to wrap up our year. i enjoy making them. i love choosing the songs. and seeing it all spin by in 10 minutes. well, all our good moments at least. glad the bad ones aren't captured by cameras. or remembered by a Savior who sends them as far as the east is from the west...

somehow i think heaven will be a HUGELY VASTER and much GREATER and more AWESOME thing than these slideshows but in one way they will be alike... it will be a time where we see the spinning of our few brief moments here as telling a story that we didn't see at the time. when ordinary moments are all extraordinary. when everything sad has come untrue and we see the joy that we there all along. PLUS there will be a kickin' soundtrack. good music in the background makes everything better.

if you want to see MORE of our yearly slideshows, click on the "etc..." button at the top of this page (right hand side) and then on that page find the "slideshows of awesomeness" button. click it and you will see all my babies grow up in 10 minute increments. enjoy. 

NEW year... NEW website...

hope it is a fresh clean start to a new year. and that you enjoy the fresh clean look to my website. simple and elegant. so unlike me. 

i hope to add more galleries. downloadable products. more blogging. more ranting, raving, tales of how God is saving me from the horrible person i would be without Him (and that sometimes i am in spite of Him and how His grace helps me to get through even those moment), and sharing some of my fave things...

like this calendar from neuyear...

it come as a SUPER big 6 foot long version. we had a 2x3 foot version last year and LOVED it. 

and on the handy dandy sidebar (look to your right) you will find search capabilities (don't search for the word STD. just don't.) and a calendar in case you want to see if i ever posted on your birthday. twitter feed. instagram photos. a post tag cloud (so you can see exactly how obsessed i am with c.s. lewis and tim keller.) and a way to go back in time and read posts from when i was way more judgmental about parenting because i didn't have teenagers yet. oh, those easy breezy, this is all so lovey squeezey days...

AND BEST OF ALLZIES, this blog format should make it easier to comment (hint, hint) or to just click to "like" a blog post. it's super easy and life changing. well, it will change my life. and don't you all want to make my life better? CLICK THE LIKE BUTTON at the end of this post. it is what all the cool kids are doing...

i love a poet...

where has wendell berry been all of my life? off writing beautiful things like this is the answer to that question...

“If you could do it, I suppose, it would be a good idea to live your life in a straight line – starting, say, in the Dark Wood of Error, and proceeding by logical steps through Hell and Purgatory and into Heaven. Or you could take the King’s Highway past appropriately named dangers, toils, and snares, and finally cross the River of Death and enter the Celestial City.

But that is not the way I have done it, so far. I am a pilgrim, but my pilgrimage has been wandering and unmarked. Often what has looked like a straight line to me has been a circle or a doubling back. I have been in the Dark Wood of Error any number of times. I have known something of Hell, Purgatory, and Heaven, but not always in that order.

The names of many snares and dangers have been made known to me, but I have seen them only in looking back. Often I have not known where I was going until I was already there. I have had my share of desires and goals, but my life has come to me or I have gone to it mainly by way of mistakes and surprises.

Often I have received better than I have deserved. Often my fairest hopes have rested upon bad mistakes. I am an ignorant pilgrim, crossing a dark valley. And yet for a long time, looking back, I have been unable to shake off the feeling that I have been led – make of that what you will.

~ Wendell Berry, Jayber Crow

thank you wendell berry for summing up my life so eloquently. i am also an ignorant pilgrim, crossing a dark valley, making bad mistakes, yet continually finding surprising grace and fairest hopes, all the time having an unshakable feeling of being led. that sums up this past year. all the other past ones. and i bet all the ones to come. lead on... i am stumbling through the dark to that still small light.

the real work...

The Real Work
by Wendell Berry

It may be that when we no longer know what to do
we have come to our real work,

and that when we no longer know which way to go
we have come to our real journey.

The mind that is not baffled is not employed.

The impeded stream is the one that sings.

“Love is what carries you, for it is always there, even in the dark, or most in the dark, but shining out at times like gold stitches in a piece of embroidery. ” 
― Wendell Berry, Hannah Coulter

“You have been given questions to which you cannot be given answers. You will have to live them out - perhaps a little at a time.'
And how long is that going to take?'
I don't know. As long as you live, perhaps.'
That could be a long time.'
I will tell you a further mystery,' he said. 'It may take longer.” 
― Wendell Berry, Jayber Crow

THE answer...

maxx headed out today for three days of camping with some friends...

he had asked us about it MONTHS ago. we suggested that he plan it for these days right after Christmas. back when it seemed like these days would never get here. we didn't help him at all (too busy to remember that he was supposed to be going camping) and then today came and he had prepped it all by himself. called and made the reservations at the state park. gathered food and supplies and a band of merry men.

all that was left for me to do was to pray over the trip.  

which reminded me of a question that i used to ask EVERY parent of a college student. back when our kids were so little that we NEVER dreamed they would ever grow up. NEVER dreamed they would be teenagers. NEVER dreamed that this boy who lost a pair of shoes every week might be able to one day plan an entire camping trip all on his own. and be wearing shoes when he left...

when we taught college students they would inevitably introduce us to their parents when those parents were in town (most likely to reassure their parents that the beloved college students were actually attending church and lo and behold KNEW their sunday school teachers.) EVERY time i met a parent i asked them about how they had managed to raise such a fine son or daughter. i was always looking for that ONE THING to check off my list so that i could do it right. 

and almost EVERY parent said the same thing...

“i prayed a lot.”

that was their answer. almost every one of them. every time i asked. and i kept on asking because i wanted a magic pill. a silver bullet. a spell. a one shot cure it all miracle. not realizing prayer was the miracle. not one shot. not by a long shot. but a thousand small still moments of “help him/her/me” moments. a lot of late nights waiting up and praying desperate prayers. prayers for angels to accompany them. or angels to slap some sense into them when they were too far out of reach of our arms. prayer for protection. for wisdom. for soft hearts and open ears. for friends. for love. for rock bottom to be soft. for grace to surprise them gently. for broken hearts. or for hearts to break wide open... so many prayers. if we only knew the power we have...

“men (children/teenagers) may spurn our appeals, reject our message, oppose our arguments, despise our persons, but they are helpless against our prayers.” {j.sidlow baxter}

psalm 6:9 The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer.