words of the year...

i needed a space to write down all the words of the year that i have chosen for the past decade. just so i have them in one place. so here it is….

(on a side note, i have conquered exactly 0% of these words.)

2006: less

john 3:30 He must become greater; I must become less.

2007: love

1 peter4:7 (the message) Everything in the world is about to be wrapped up, so take nothing for granted. Stay wide-awake in prayer. Most of all, love each other as if your life depended on it. Love makes up for practically anything.

2008: little

luke 16:10 (the message) 10-13 If you’re honest in small things, you’ll be honest in big things; If you’re a crook in small things, you’ll be a crook in big things. If you’re not honest in small jobs, who will put you in charge of the store?

2009: limit

2 corinthians 13:9 (the message) We don’t just put up with our limitations; we celebrate them, and then go on to celebrate every strength, every triumph of the truth in you.

2010: listen

isaiah 30:21 Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”

2011: linger

psalm 91:1 Whoever dwells (lingers) in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty…

2012: laugh

proverbs 31:25b … she can laugh at the days to come.

2013: lift

isaiah 40:26 Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens… Who created all these?

He who brings out the starry host one by one and calls forth each of them by name.

Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing.

lamentations 2:19 Arise, cry out in the night, as the watches of the night begin;

pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord.

Lift up your hands to him for the lives of your children,

2014: light

john 1:5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

2015: learn

matthew 11:28-30 “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

2016: let go

“Give yourself up to His plans. Be led wherever He wills by His providence. Why should you be troubled that you can no longer drink from the aqueduct when you are led to the perennial spring itself from which its waters are derived?” {François Fénelon, Let Go}

2017: labile

“God uses broken things. It takes broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken grain to give bread, broken bread to give strength. It is the broken alabaster box that gives forth perfume. It is Peter, weeping bitterly, who returns to greater power than ever.” {vance havner}

2018: lap

“The more we let God take us over (dare i add to lewis by saying “LAP US” instead of “take us over”), the more truly ourselves we become - because He made us. He invented us. He invented all the different people that you and I were intended to be. . .It is when I turn to Christ, when I give up myself to His personality, that I first begin to have a real personality of my own.” {c.s. lewis}

2019: lean

psalm 116:1–2: i love the Lord because He hears my voice… because He bends down to listen.

He will hold me fast...

we visited christ presbyterian church in brentwood when we were there a few weekends ago. a furman grad is the pastor (scott sauls) and we have several friends that attend that church. i have visited there a dozen or so times over the past years of visiting nashville and i always love the service.

this time they sang a hymn that i had never heard before and i just fell in love with it. i can’t stop listening to it. because it resonates so deeply with me. because it is never me holding on to Christ. it is always that He holds me so tightly. that is my story. this is my song. His holding me. always.

He Will Hold Me Fast

written by Keith and Kristyn Getty

When I fear my faith will fail, Christ will hold me fast;

When the tempter would prevail, He will hold me fast.

I could never keep my hold through life's fearful path;

For my love is often cold; He must hold me fast.

He will hold me fast, He will hold me fast;

For my Saviour loves me so, He will hold me fast.

Those He saves are His delight, Christ will hold me fast;

Precious in his holy sight, He will hold me fast.

He'll not let my soul be lost; His promises shall last;

Bought by Him at such a cost, He will hold me fast.

He will hold me fast, He will hold me fast;

For my Saviour loves me so, He will hold me fast.

For my life He bled and died, Christ will hold me fast;

Justice has been satisfied; He will hold me fast.

Raised with Him to endless life, He will hold me fast

‘Till our faith is turned to sight, When He comes at last!

He will hold me fast, He will hold me fast;

For my Saviour loves me so, He will hold me fast.

motherhood is the epitome of &

i wrote this today on the socials. and ever since hitting the button on it i have thought of a million more &’s that go with mothering. so i thought i would add it on to my blog. because i never post anything here anymore and i am always thinking about writing things & how much i miss writing. and i added a few new ones to the mix because they came to mind and are true.


motherhood is the epitome of the power of &.

it’s moments of exclamation marks & question marks.

highs & lows.

holding & scolding.

it’s shown my strengths & weaknesses.

there have been moments where i was called the worst mom ever when i was probably at my best & moments i was hailed as the best mom and it was clearly at my worst.

i keep a thousand memories of the past & a million dreams for the future.

i wait for welcome home days & weep over all the good bye moments.

i have merely listened when i should have spoken & spoken when i should have listened.

seen His hand in more than a few miracles & mostly in the mundane.

i’ve been profane & prophetic (sometimes at the same time).

prayed for them less than i needed to & preached at them much more than i should have.

i’ve been honored & humiliated. and i’ve done the same to them.

forgiven much & been forgiven for even more.

remembered & forgotten.

said NO when i should have said YES & said YES when i should have said HELL NO & said MAYBE when i didn’t want to give an actual answer & said I DON’T KNOW about a million times more than i ever thought i would have said for a grown up who is supposed to know things by now & spoken straight out lies when i should have said I DO NOT KNOW because really, i DID NOT KNOW.

found lost things & lost things i thought i had found.

given all i’ve had & been given more than i deserved.

stayed up too late & gotten up too frequently & always too early & slept thru moments i wish i hadn’t.

i’ve won & lost. and been confused on whether things were a victory or defeat.

it is simultaneously too much at once & you are never enough. or you are too much & it is monotonously the same thing over and over.

i have laughed & cried. laughed while crying. cried while laughing & also peed while laughing because of giving birth three times & cried while peeing because it was the only place i could have a moment alone to weep.

i have changed all the things that needed changing & slowly realized the thing that needed changing the most was me.

i read all the books & made it all up as i went along.

quoted Scripture at inopportune times & clung to it when it was all i knew was true and the only thing that kept me tethered to something true.

i’ve watched the tide come in & knock down all my well formed castles & then noticed that it had left me some exquisite treasures gleaming in the wet sand.

despaired that i seemed worthless & declared that it was worth it all.

breathed in the beauty & had the breath knocked out of me by some really ugly moments.

i set high goals & then lowered all my expectations.

marveled & mumbled.

grinned & grimaced & grumbled.

complimented & complained.

i have charted & planned & written it all down & then watched it all get erased/torn up/lost in the shuffle.

thought i was raising them & was the one being raised all along.

i’ve held them close & now, i’ve let them each go...


the enthusiastic jumper (at the top right) left this morning to hike & camp. i won’t hear from her until june.


the recent graduate is forging a future of music & words & rhythms & rhymes.


the philosophical one will be in berlin most of the summer learning a new language.

they are each entirely their own & a bit of adam and i.

i’ve hiked and camped through motherhood for 25 years.

attempted to forge & forest a future with words & rhymes.

& i’ve philosophically learned new languages to speak with each of them over the past 25 years.

but hopefully most importantly & ultimately relied on the oldest language of them all.


may it be so for us all today&forever.