proverbs 12:4 (kjv)
An excellent wife (a wife of valor, strength, ability, force) is the crown of her husband,
But she who causes shame (also can be disconcerted, disappointed) is like rottenness in his bones.
very timely this verse since my book club met last night to discuss our book of the month, sacred influence by gary thomas. and as always we had a WONDERFUL time together and an interesting discussion of our book. and some good food...
i really liked this book and found it to be very inspiring. but i think last night i realized why i liked this book so much...
it is because i have seen the text actually lived out by several women in my life. as the knots that were tied in their marriages were frayed and almost broke apart, as those knots tightened a proverbially noose around their necks and as those knots were almost untied... almost...
i know women who chose to stay in marriages NOT because those marriage made them happy (in fact at the time those women made their choices, their marriages were ANYthing by happy), but these women stayed to do something greater than happy...
they stayed because they saw marriage as holy.
they didn’t stand up for their RIGHTS and what other would have told them was their RIGHT to divorce...
they stood up for something righteous.
they didn’t do what was the easiest thing to do in the moment...
they chose the hard work of months, years, a lifetime.
they didn’t say it was the end...
they saw it as a new beginning.
they didn’t GET EVEN...
they prayed for GRACE to abound EVEN more. minute by minute, day by day, month by month, year by year.
these women have done something sacred. and i have watched them. they have lived out the Truth to me...
there is a Grace greater than our sin.
God makes all things new.
they have died to self so that they can truly live.
and God has turned their mourning into dancing.
they have preached entire lifetimes of sermons to me with their forgiveness and love. they have written books with their lives filled with the awesome mixture of tears and laughter. more drama than most novels...
i have seen the process, i have seen hearts break and grieve, and i have seen hearts healing bit by bit, moment by moment. they have sipped the “bitter juice of suffering” and it has turned into the sweetest “honey of a holy life”. true transformation is an incredible testimony.
and their stories are not over. thank goodness because i do love a good story...
and my story isn’t over yet either. and i thank these women in small ways every time i do the difficult work of being an excellent wife.
i love that the word “excellent” has this connotation of bravery attached to it... because i see that in my friends who are excellent wives.
it took strength (God’s strength through their weaknesses at times) to do this work of marriage, it takes a brave woman to live through the worst that could happen to a wife and to keep getting up off of the floor everyday and going on living...
so this month, i will do the brave work of being an “excellent” wife. i have some incredible role models that God has given to me. i thank them for their stories...
i thank them for turning dross into gold and curses into blessings. and even though i know that they will say that they really didn’t do very much, that God did all the heavy lifting...
i know these gals and i know that the bravest thing they ever did was to give their marriages to God for Him to carry and for Him to heal and for Him to control.
how can i do any less in a month of living proverbially, in a lifetime of living not for myself but to glorify the Author and Perfecter of lives and marriages?