which doesn’t describe cute engaged couple, amanda and shawn at all... but they should have been VERY afraid when i took them to take photos outside “bert’s motel” outside of monticello. it is a scary, run down, who know what is hanging out there kind of place. but we did get some amazing photos there and in the fun town of monticello.
but i digress.
and onto my thing to KNOW for today...
i am currently trying to memorize philippians chapter 2 (well, most of it). don’t get all jealous of my spirituality. because i am only halfway through the first verse and should wrap this whole chapter up by memory about the time rosie wheels me into the extended care home. rosie will be the one to wheel me in because there are a lot of days that i think she is the only one who likes me. but she is young. she has time to learn to roll her eyes at my every statement..
in case you haven’t memorized philippians chapter 2 (well, most of it) yet (and who hasn’t? oh, yeah ME. i haven’t) here it is for your edification... and i have marked in red the portion that i know from memory. be prepared to be awed...
Philippians 2
Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ,
if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit,
if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded,
having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.
Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,
not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—
not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—
continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling,
for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.
Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure,
“children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.”
Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life.
And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain.
But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith,
I am glad and rejoice with all of you. So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.
okay so the portion that i have memorized is not that awe inspiring. but this will awe you.
these lines... “continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill His good purpose.” really struck me this week.
i knew the “continue to work out” meant not that we WORK out our salvation but that we “live it out in the things that we do. we show our salvation to the world” through how we act. the fruit of the Spirit in our daily interactions. loving as Christ loves, serving as He serves, forgiving as He forgives... NOT to earn salvation but a “work it baby work it” kind of working. which may not translate well into writing but when i say it out loud it makes sense. if you say, “work it baby work it” like you say when someone is posing for a photo.
i decided to look up that “fear and trembling part” in the greek. and even though it was “all greek to me” (that joke never gets old... to me), here is what it means...
“with fear and trembling, used to describe the anxiety of one who distrusts his ability completely to meet all requirements, but religiously does his utmost to fulfill his duty”
the anxiety of one who distrusts her ability completely to meet all requirements but religiously does her utmost to fulfill her duty. that certainly sounds like how i live my life.
i parent with fear and trembling. i know i cannot be the perfect mom. but i keep trying to do my utmost. which falls far short of the ideal.
i am a friend that fears and trembles. there are so many times that i just don’t know WHAT to do to help a friend whose heart is breaking, whose world is shaking. and i know that i cannot meet all the requirements of friendship. but i do my utmost. which is pitiful at best. and at worst is like job’s three friends who never look good through the entire chapter and make me want to slap them. and yet, i tend to be just like all three of them at times.
side note from wikepedia about job’s three friends... Speeches of Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar
Job's friends do not waver from their belief that Job must have sinned to incite God's punishment. As the speeches progress, Job's friends increasingly berate him for refusing to confess his sins, although they themselves are at a loss as to which sin he has committed. They also assume, in their view of theology, that God always rewards good and punishes evil, with no apparent exceptions allowed. There seems to be no room in their understanding of God for divine discretion and mystery in allowing and arranging suffering for purposes other than retribution.
sometimes i just love wickepedia...
now back to our regularly schedule blog on “fear and trembling”...
i am a wife who fears and trembles. not because my husband is cruel. but because i know that i am far from the wife he needs sometimes. i am not the wife of the year. the month. the day. or even of this next 5 minutes (especially since i am blogging instead of making dinner).
i distrust my abilities COMPLETELY. when i look at my husband and i say “you complete me” (from jerry macquire movie and one of my least favorite movie lines EVER along with “love means never having to say your are sorry” from love story) all i really mean is that i know because of my selfishness that the only thing that is complete in me is my distrust of my abilities to be able to love him as Christ has told me to love him... and my children... and my friends... and the guy on the corner asking for a handout. i distrust my abilities to love them like God has told me to love them.
which according to this verse is a really good place to be... distrusting of ourselves (so take that all you self esteem gurus...)
because the next part of the verse is the really important part “for (which means INDEED) it is God who works in me to will and to act in order to fulfill His good purpose.”
there is a Perfect Parent. a Perfect Friend. a Perfect Spouse. and He works in me. i have complete trust in His abilities. and complete distrust in my own.
here are three great quotes that came my way this week about what i need to KNOW this KNOWvember. Lord help my unKNOWing...
I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough,
hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won't have to die.
The truth is that you will die anyway
and that a lot of people who aren't even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you,
and have a lot more fun while they're doing it. {anne lamott}
The end of faith is not knowing, the end of faith is living.
Knowing is an essential step along the way.
{paul david tripp}
Discipleship isn’t about increasing your knowledge…
it’s putting your knowledge into action.
{relevant magazine}