blast from the past...

so who here remembers last may? (heck, i don't remember what i had for breakfast this morning...)

so i will remind you of a little blog series that i did entitled and aptly represented by this faux book i made up...

i would like to revisit that topic for a moment with this teenage parenting nugget of wisdom...

EXPECT TO LOSE.

i remember people would tell me "pick your battles" when your kids are teenagers. and i did pick one battle in particular... the "NO WEARING CLOTHING WITH BAD WORDS ON IT" battle. i was going to die on that hill. and i did die on that hill. case in point... 

that is millie 5 years ago. she wanted a "south butt" jacket. it was mocking "north face" and i am totally on board with mocking. i just am not a big fan of a young girl wearing clothing that says "butt." and kind of shows a graphic image of a butt. i felt like it was inappropriate. and a bit crASS. which is funny since i have no problem typing the word ASS. or saying it in most situations. just a problem with the word butt on my daughter's clothing... i am such a hypocrite.

i fought the purchase of the infamous south butt jacket tooth and nail. i prayed over this issue. i consulted wise friends. i reasoned. i promised rewards for obedience. and then her dad/my loving husband intervened and vetoed me and let her buy and wear the jacket. EVEN TO CHURCH. she wore that jacket EVERYWHERE. just to spite me.

i cannot tell you how much it irritated me. i am not a good loser. and if the musical matilda has been out already i would have been singing this song ...

which includes these fragrant and hilarious lyrics...

the smell of rebellion, the stench of revolt , the reek of insubordination, the whiff of resistance, the pong of dissent, the funk of mutiny in action...

so you can imagine my sorrow and shame when millie handed that beauty of a jacket down to her little sister this fall...

the only thing worth than losing once is losing twice. the only thing worse than dying on a hill once is being stabbed to death on top of it again. by your baby. whilst she wears a south butt jacket.

so i join with the trunchbull from matilda singing my other favorite part from "the smell of rebellion" song...

Imagine a world with no children (or in my case "teenagers".)
Close your eyes and just dream.
Imagine. Come on - try it...
The peace and the quiet...
A babbling stream...

Now imagine a woods with a cottage,
And inside that cottage we find
A dwarf called Zeke, a carnival freak,
Who can fold paper hats with his mind,

And he says, "Don’t let them steal your horses! No!"
"Don’t let them throw them away! No!"
"If you find your way through,"
"They’ll be waiting for you,"
"Singing 'neigh neigh'!"

i will not let them steal my horses. i won't let them throw them away. they will be waiting one day saying, "neigh neigh." which is kind of weird but maybe trunchbull isn't mad. maybe she is giving me a hidden instructive hint because as shakespeare said, "revenge is a dish best served cold." oh, that jacket will be waiting. i won't throw it away.  i will put it somewhere safe. until they have teenage daughters. then it will reappear. and they can die on that hill. my blood has already softened the ground... i can hear the horses now... "neigh neigh," they say...

quest, journey, or ADVENTure...

yesterday adam drove millie back to nashville and so rosie, maxx and i went to procure a Christmas tree. even though adam made a valiant effort in our yearly debate over Christmas tree procurement. this year he had a small victory. he managed to convince maxx to join his side as a NON Christmas tree procurer. most likely because the heavy lifting of tree work (carrying it in, lights, and taking off lights and carrying it out of the house falls to one of the marshall men.) adam doesn't like decorating for the holidays. or any days. i am certain this stems from deep seeded childhood issues that a therapist could wrangle out of his subconscious but a man who doesn't want to spend $30 on a Christmas tree isn't about to spend $150 on a therapist. and frankly there may be other stuff in that subconscious that needs to stay sub. so it is a yearly debate betwixt my man and me. and every year we (meaning the me part of we) end up with a tree. usually i try to buy and put it up when he isn't home. like a surprise/ambush/revolution.

so as we set out yesterday on our Christmas tree conspiracy, i mentioned that we were off on an adventure (trying to make it sound more fun than a regular trip to costco.) then maxx pointed out that the very word "adventure" had the word ADVENT in it. which i had never really thought about. i asked him what the etymology of adventure was. did it have something to do with "advent"? because maxx and i are freaks about etymologies and like to use them in conversations all willy nilly like.  maxx said "yes" since it has the implication of something arriving by chance. then maxx explained to me yesterday that the words quest, journey, and adventure are not synonymous. i asked him what was the difference. he explained...

a QUEST is a search to find an object or knowledge.

a JOURNEY is travel from one place to another.

and an ADVENTURE is something that happens that is unknown to the adventurer. it has an unknown outcome at the start. 

i nodded and pretended i already knew all of that. i can't let maxx think he is smarter than his mother. he is already taller. and more talented. and has a much better sense of style. i need to maintain some level of dignity...

here is the actual etymology (which is really close to what maxx told me. sigh. i can't hold on to my lead for long. he is going to figure out that i am the village idiot. in fact i bet he already knows it and is using his acting skills to hide his knowledge of that fact. dang. he's even a better actor...)

adventure (n.) 
auenture "that which happens by chance, fortune, luck," from Old French aventure "chance, accident, occurrence, event, happening," from Latin adventura "about to happen," from adventurus, future participle of advenire "to come to, reach, arrive at," from ad- "to" (see ad-) + venire "to come" (see venue). 

Meaning developed through "risk/danger" (a trial of one's chances), and "perilous undertaking" and thence to "a novel or exciting incident".  Earlier it also meant "a wonder, a miracle; accounts of marvelous things" (13c.). 

advent (n.) 
"important arrival," from Latin adventus "a coming, approach, arrival."

so we concluded that we couldn't really say we were going on an adventure. you can't really plan for an adventure. it might happen. but only God plans adventures. 

which is a perfect description for this advent season. we can "plan" for Christmas as much as we want. but the true meaning of Christmas only comes when we have ADVENT happen to us. something unforeseen. something risky, perilous, wonderful, something marvelous. that we didn't plan for. that we weren't looking for. that we didn't want but always needed...

so i would say that i hope this season is all three for you... a QUEST like the wisemen were on to find knowledge and a King. a JOURNEY like mary and joseph were on to get to a place of origin. but most of all i hope it is an ADVENTURE which happened to everyone involved in the story of the first Christmas. which comes only from the One who was before all things began and who will be revealing wonders into eternity...

O come, O come, Emmanuel,

and ransom captive Israel,

that mourns in lonely exile here

until the Son of God appear.

Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel,

shall come to thee O Israel!

some poetry on an overcast friday...

And The Greatest

by john blase thebeautifuldue

Until your tears have fermented

they are only water,

easily mistaken for raindrops.

But should you endure the season

your grief might turn to wine,

your sadness might become

the spirit others will travel

far and wide to taste.

Know that the season is often long,

the weather harsh and inappropriate. 

There are no guarantees.

Only hope, wait, and see remain.

And the greatest of these is hope.

fighting battles...

i like that quote. but in some ways that makes me weak. because i tend to fight my battles out here on the blog. or on the phone with friends...

not to mention the hundreds of my facebook friends who know the battle that i constantly face... 

parking my suburban. 

months ago a "friend"  texted me a photo of my car. parked badly and asked if i was ok. i responded that i was fine. she said that it didn't look like it by the way i parked my car. all haphazardishly. like i was running into publix in a panic (which is totally plausible. publix emergencies are a weekly occurrence.)

i insisted that i park badly most of the time. my friend countered, "but you are such a good driver." which is true. i maintain that driving and parking are two totally separate skills. like reading and writing. one can be an excellent reader and a poor writer (see ME for an example. i am a fantastic reader. speed reader. but not a fantastic writer. i park like a write. overextended. out of the lines. haphazardly.)

so i started keeping a photographic record of my parking foibles and failures... to prove to my friend that i was a consistently bad parker. and i started posting said photos on facebook. to prove to the world that i cannot park. because i don't want the world to think that i am a roaring success at anything... except being a dismal failure at parking.

the really funny part is that ALMOST EVERY TIME i park i THINK that i got it right. that this time i nailed it. then i go into the store. the dentist office. the school. and it isn't until i come back out that i truly see my parking in its true form. as a failure. and then i take a photo. while laughing. and planning a witty quote to add on top of the photo of my dismal dereliction of space and line. 

which is kind of how my life is going these days... 

i think i have NAILED SOMETHING. like i have just completed the ultimate parenting coup d'etat. or managed to speak kindly to my husband for three days in a row when i have wanted to point out every one of his flaws. or found my dream job for next year. or at least a job that will pay me the $$$$$$ we need to cover millie's tuition to belmont. i think i have locked into perfection... and a few hours/days/minutes later when i look at it with fresh eyes, i realize that i have messed it up once again. 

i am a perennially petulant mess. always needing an overflowing supply of grace that is unending. undeserved. and unasked for. because whenever i have it between the lines... i am hopelessly wrong. again.

see how they run...

cross country double seasons (middle school and high school) means double the fun.

for instance... this photo below was taken 15 minutes after rosalea ran a PR 15:44 and then promptly threw up at the finish line because she had run so hard. and look at her 15 minutes later. happy as can be... 

rosalea and her awesome cross county coach. i love great teachers. this is a great teacher...

and then this one from a high school race in carrollton, GA... 

the early morning light in carrollton, GA is always so great for photos. my friends umi and jane look especially lovely in the morning light...

so now let's chat about what we are doing THIS weekend...  

going to see THIS girl... 

we haven't seen her in SIX WEEKS!!!!

that tire photo was taken the day before we left to take her to nashville. we had taken kodie to the dog boarders in bainbridge (where we adopted him) and there is this HUGE area of old tires. we thought it might make for a cool photo background. it did. but let me tell you that it did not smell pleasant AT ALL. and there were a LOT of flies. but millie is the daughter of a photographer and she knows the drill... who cares if it is uncomfortable if it looks GREAT in the photo. 

and let's talk about those boots she has on. was that a girl destined to go to nashville or what? anyway she LOVES it there and we can't wait to see her and meet all her new friends and just have some family time with her again!