NEW year... NEW website...

hope it is a fresh clean start to a new year. and that you enjoy the fresh clean look to my website. simple and elegant. so unlike me. 

i hope to add more galleries. downloadable products. more blogging. more ranting, raving, tales of how God is saving me from the horrible person i would be without Him (and that sometimes i am in spite of Him and how His grace helps me to get through even those moment), and sharing some of my fave things...

like this calendar from neuyear...

it come as a SUPER big 6 foot long version. we had a 2x3 foot version last year and LOVED it. 

and on the handy dandy sidebar (look to your right) you will find search capabilities (don't search for the word STD. just don't.) and a calendar in case you want to see if i ever posted on your birthday. twitter feed. instagram photos. a post tag cloud (so you can see exactly how obsessed i am with c.s. lewis and tim keller.) and a way to go back in time and read posts from when i was way more judgmental about parenting because i didn't have teenagers yet. oh, those easy breezy, this is all so lovey squeezey days...

AND BEST OF ALLZIES, this blog format should make it easier to comment (hint, hint) or to just click to "like" a blog post. it's super easy and life changing. well, it will change my life. and don't you all want to make my life better? CLICK THE LIKE BUTTON at the end of this post. it is what all the cool kids are doing...

i love a poet...

where has wendell berry been all of my life? off writing beautiful things like this is the answer to that question...

“If you could do it, I suppose, it would be a good idea to live your life in a straight line – starting, say, in the Dark Wood of Error, and proceeding by logical steps through Hell and Purgatory and into Heaven. Or you could take the King’s Highway past appropriately named dangers, toils, and snares, and finally cross the River of Death and enter the Celestial City.

But that is not the way I have done it, so far. I am a pilgrim, but my pilgrimage has been wandering and unmarked. Often what has looked like a straight line to me has been a circle or a doubling back. I have been in the Dark Wood of Error any number of times. I have known something of Hell, Purgatory, and Heaven, but not always in that order.

The names of many snares and dangers have been made known to me, but I have seen them only in looking back. Often I have not known where I was going until I was already there. I have had my share of desires and goals, but my life has come to me or I have gone to it mainly by way of mistakes and surprises.

Often I have received better than I have deserved. Often my fairest hopes have rested upon bad mistakes. I am an ignorant pilgrim, crossing a dark valley. And yet for a long time, looking back, I have been unable to shake off the feeling that I have been led – make of that what you will.

~ Wendell Berry, Jayber Crow

thank you wendell berry for summing up my life so eloquently. i am also an ignorant pilgrim, crossing a dark valley, making bad mistakes, yet continually finding surprising grace and fairest hopes, all the time having an unshakable feeling of being led. that sums up this past year. all the other past ones. and i bet all the ones to come. lead on... i am stumbling through the dark to that still small light.

the real work...

The Real Work
by Wendell Berry

It may be that when we no longer know what to do
we have come to our real work,

and that when we no longer know which way to go
we have come to our real journey.

The mind that is not baffled is not employed.

The impeded stream is the one that sings.

“Love is what carries you, for it is always there, even in the dark, or most in the dark, but shining out at times like gold stitches in a piece of embroidery. ” 
― Wendell Berry, Hannah Coulter

“You have been given questions to which you cannot be given answers. You will have to live them out - perhaps a little at a time.'
And how long is that going to take?'
I don't know. As long as you live, perhaps.'
That could be a long time.'
I will tell you a further mystery,' he said. 'It may take longer.” 
― Wendell Berry, Jayber Crow

THE answer...

maxx headed out today for three days of camping with some friends...

he had asked us about it MONTHS ago. we suggested that he plan it for these days right after Christmas. back when it seemed like these days would never get here. we didn't help him at all (too busy to remember that he was supposed to be going camping) and then today came and he had prepped it all by himself. called and made the reservations at the state park. gathered food and supplies and a band of merry men.

all that was left for me to do was to pray over the trip.  

which reminded me of a question that i used to ask EVERY parent of a college student. back when our kids were so little that we NEVER dreamed they would ever grow up. NEVER dreamed they would be teenagers. NEVER dreamed that this boy who lost a pair of shoes every week might be able to one day plan an entire camping trip all on his own. and be wearing shoes when he left...

when we taught college students they would inevitably introduce us to their parents when those parents were in town (most likely to reassure their parents that the beloved college students were actually attending church and lo and behold KNEW their sunday school teachers.) EVERY time i met a parent i asked them about how they had managed to raise such a fine son or daughter. i was always looking for that ONE THING to check off my list so that i could do it right. 

and almost EVERY parent said the same thing...

“i prayed a lot.”

that was their answer. almost every one of them. every time i asked. and i kept on asking because i wanted a magic pill. a silver bullet. a spell. a one shot cure it all miracle. not realizing prayer was the miracle. not one shot. not by a long shot. but a thousand small still moments of “help him/her/me” moments. a lot of late nights waiting up and praying desperate prayers. prayers for angels to accompany them. or angels to slap some sense into them when they were too far out of reach of our arms. prayer for protection. for wisdom. for soft hearts and open ears. for friends. for love. for rock bottom to be soft. for grace to surprise them gently. for broken hearts. or for hearts to break wide open... so many prayers. if we only knew the power we have...

“men (children/teenagers) may spurn our appeals, reject our message, oppose our arguments, despise our persons, but they are helpless against our prayers.” {j.sidlow baxter}

psalm 6:9 The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer.

another lengthy letter/lesson/liturgical liaison from lea...

(this is my yearly Christmas letter at the end of our family Christmas card... it was in a really small font in our letter and some people may find it easier to read in this format...)

as you may have surmised from our Christmas card this year (or if you know our family AT ALL), the marshalls are not a “cookie cutter” family. where everyone likes the same things, does similar activities, whilst sportin’ matching outfits and singing hymns (or broadway songs). that was SO my vision for how this whole family thing was going to go (perhaps too many viewings of “the sound of music”). but i am slowly learning God always does more than we ASK or IMAGINE. together our family runs the spectrum of interests, personalities, and sleep schedules. but because the extroverts still outnumber the introverts we keep sending out these excessively wordy Christmas cards. HOORAY!

another year has FLOWN by... and millie has flown from our nest all the way to belmont university in nashville! she LOVES belmont and nashville. she is home for winter break which makes this momma so happy! and winter break means it is time for another lengthy letter/lesson/liturgical liaison from lea. it’s almost enough to make one give up reading. but thank you to those who haven’t (or those of you who have learned how in the last year) and especially to those who are good at lying and tell me that you read every word of our card (which should be easier this year with all the infographics and so few words. until now...) but i wouldn’t be the lea you know (and hopefully love) if i didn’t use finish up this Christmas collaboration with WORDS...

2013 was the year of LIFT. which like all my yearly goals fell a bit flat. ha. but i do love the process of concentrating on one word for each year. for 2014 i have chosen the word LIGHT. since i don’t remember ANYthing from high school science (or from breakfast this morning),  i did a little study of this thing called LIGHT. turns out the science of LIGHT is at once both obvious and mysterious (just like me), scientists are continually making new discoveries about LIGHT. it is an antinomy (having the appearance of a contradiction) because it functions as both particles and waves.  LIGHT reflects, refracts, and scatters. i think this very accurately describes my life at this point of 47 years. so in the keeping of our infographic theme, i will do a more visual representation of my word of the year and some of my thoughts that come with this ILLUMINATING word...

REFLECT: to throw or bend back light 

    & also to think deeply or carefully, 

    to express carefully considered thoughts

this year i hope to reflect LIGHT. these days i am so glad there is Good News at Christmas that i don’t have to produce LIGHT myself (can i get an “amen” from my middle age peeps?). i only have to be a (sometimes dim) reflection of the Greater LIGHT that cannot ever be defeated by darkness. isn't it interesting (and encouraging) that the smallest LIGHT defeats darkness...

john 1:5 (the message) 
The LIGHT blazed out of the darkness; the darkness couldn’t put it out.

psalm 18:28 The Lord, my God,  LIGHTS up my darkness.

isaiah 9:2 The people walking in darkness have seen a great LIGHT; on those living in the land of deep darkness a LIGHT has dawned.

REFRACT: to make something change direction, from the latin “broken up.” 

refracting LIGHT means that things that enter appearing as disasters can be “broken up” and change direction and be seen as something good. refracting LIGHT means remembering i am always loved and God is always good. j.r.r. tolkien made up a fantastic and perfect word for this... EUCATASTROPHE: combining good (from the greek eu) and destruction (catastrophe). it describes the moment when the tiniest LIGHT of deliverance throws back the darkness. “the sudden joyous turn, not an ending, but the moment we get a glimpse of joy... a gleam of revelation from outside the narrative.” refractive LIGHT changes the direction of my daily catastrophes, my own failures, and the sorrows from this fallen world into something for my good. a reason to be thankful.

SCATTER: throw in various random directions, from the old english word “shatter”.

not only is my mind scattered these days, my family is also. everyone off doing their own activities (some in other states.) but scattered light is interesting and beautiful. light scatters only when it hits a rough surface. which gives me hope that even in my imperfection i can be a source of scattering LIGHT...SCATTER & REFRACT both come from words meaning “broken”. i don’t like broken things. yet a seed can only grow once it breaks open. a broken heart becomes a soft heart. we become stronger in our broken places. and broken LIGHT can sometimes give us the best more beautiful way to see the world. 

SCATTER & REFRACT both come from words meaning “broken”. i don’t like broken things. yet a seed can only grow once it breaks open. a broken heart becomes a soft heart. we become stronger in our broken places. and broken LIGHT can sometimes give us the best more beautiful way to see the world. 

THE ELECTROMAGNETIC SPECTRUM

one of the most striking things i learned regarding LIGHT is that the human eye is only able to detect a small region (visible light) of the sun’s electromagnetic spectrum. if the entire electromagnetic spectrum of LIGHT was the distance from new york to los angeles, this visible range (what we actually see) would be the size of a dime. all the colors, all the beauty that i do see is only a dime sized view of the VASTNESS that is LIGHT. 

so LIGHT is CRAZY huge and most of it we can’t see with these human eyes. i guess that is why this life is such a walk by faith and not sight. i know ALL that invisible LIGHT is there (well, i know it since my google LIGHT search). just like i KNOW that God's LOVE and GOODNESS surrounds me daily. even though i only see small glimpses. and sometimes the daily catastrophes seem to block out that dime sized visible LIGHT. i know that all His promises are answered YES in Christ Jesus. even when i don't see them answered today. this year i want to be quick to look for the good (EU) in daily destruction to find the EUCATASTROPHE. look for the LIGHT that is always there giving me a glimpse behind the scenes knowing there is so much more than my eyes will ever see in this lifetime. 

2 corinthians 4:5-12 (the message) It started when God said, “LIGHT up the darkness!” and our lives filled up with LIGHT as we saw and understood God in the face of Christ, all bright and beautiful. If you only look at us, you might well miss the brightness. We carry this precious message around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives. That’s to prevent anyone from confusing God’s incomparable power with us. As it is, there’s not much chance of that. You know for yourselves that we’re not much to look at...

LIGHT: adj. “gentle, not burdensome” or even “cheerful and entertaining.” 

i love this quote from g.k. chesterton: 

“it is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.”

the heaviness of everyday life and everyday strife weighs me down, and it is so hard to be LIGHT. it takes special effort to be gentle with others and cheerful in these days of a constant blame, shame, and “i have it worse than you” game. i crave this kind of LIGHTness of being and hope to bring it into the spaces where i go everyday and into the lives of the people that God surrounds me with. i hope this card has been cheerful and entertaining. we can be a bit on the self-aggrandizement scale (practice your SAT word skills with that beauty.) it is a marshall trait (maybe just a lea marshall trait). but hopefully it brought a bit of LIGHT heartedness to you and your family.

matthew 11:28-30 (the message)

Are you tired? Worn out?…Come to me. 

Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.

I’ll show you how to take a real rest. 

Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it.

Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. 

I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.

Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and LIGHTly.

one of my favorite books EVER is the tale of despereaux by kate dicamillo. and i will end this LIGHT lesson by quoting the way the book begins...

“Stories are light. Light is precious in a world so dark.” 

this world is dark & LIGHT is precious. i hope this season is a season of LIGHT for you. LIGHT reflected. refracted. and scattered. visible LIGHT to see the beauty and the gifts that you have been given and invisible LIGHT that isn’t seen with eyes, but felt deeply in your soul sensing there is something even more deLIGHTful beyond what our eyes can see and our minds can think. may the LIGHT break into your story with Grace and Glory, so that even in a season of catastrophes there is EUCATASTROPHE. there is LIGHT everlasting...

revelation 21: 23-25  Heaven does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it LIGHT, and the Lamb is its lamp. The nations will walk by its LIGHT, and the kings of the earth will bring their splendor into it. On no day will its gates ever be shut, for there will be no night there.