so the ocean metaphors continue... submerged by marriage and sailing as parenting. i do so like a good theme...
my book club and i had a discussion about parenting a few months ago... and how we know we should do what we do as parents out of obedience and NOT because we expect results. but how do we do it and NOT expect results? that was the part we were stuck on. we desire the result of children who grow up to love the Lord with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength. and we have to have hope and expectations that what we are doing is leading them into His arms. it is a good desire... the single greatest goal of our parenting... but how do we keep on doing what we do when we don't see that desire fulfilled? do we give up all the "good ideas and practices" (which are slightly legalistic at best and downright anti-gospel at worst) and just wait on the Lord?
there is a place between the law and grace and we can't find that sweet spot. and we are all searching pretty hard for that sweet spot. between the seven of us we have tried it all. every parenting book. every conference. home schooling. private Christian school. public school. we have listened to every "expert". in our past some of us (yours truly included) have been touted as "experts" and spoken on how is the way to "train up a child in the way they should go..." none of us are being asked to speak much these days. none of us deem ourselves to have any answers anymore. save that one answer of "God knows..."
and so i found this blog post very encouraging. because there are many days when parenting feels very much like sailing. because i don't know a darn thing about sailing. and there might be sharks around this boat...
from tullian tchividjian's blog...
Only The Promise Produces
Mike Horton rightly warns against depending on “guidance technology” to put wind in our sails:
Like a sailboat equipped with the most sophisticated guidance technology, our Christian lives are often decked out with the latest principles for living, with spiritual guidance counselors telling us what will make life really work for us and our families. Oftentimes, brand new Christians sail out of the harbor under full sail, eager to follow the guidance system, making use of all the gadgets, enthusiastically listening to every fellow boater who has some advice to offer. Yet as many long-time believers know, eventually the winds die down and we find ourselves dead in the water. Then when storm clouds gather on the horizon, we discover that all of the guidance technology and good advice in the world cannot fill our sails so that we can return safely to the harbor. The equipment can plot our course, tell us that a storm is coming, and indicate our present location, but it cannot move us one inch toward the safety of the harbor. In other words, if we are looking for motivation in the Christian life, it cannot come from motivational principles; only the gospel fills our sails…While God’s wise directions are necessary, apart from the ever present word of promise that, despite our failures at sea, God is at the helm piloting us to safety, we will eventually give up on sailing altogether. Purposes, laws, principles, suggestions, and good advice can set our course, but only the gospel promise can fill our sails and restore to us the joy of our salvation.
The Gospel Driven Life, pg. 143-144
purposes, laws, principles, suggestion, and good advice are needed to set our course... but there comes a time with only the breath of God can move us to the safety of harbor or onto our next adventure at sea. we pray and we wait on the strong wind to fill the sails...
a ship is safe in harbor, but that is not what ships are built for. {william shedd}