7 years ago...

was when i started blogging.

and so did pioneer woman.

and jon acuff.

and melanie shankle (big mama).

in the past 7 years those blogs have gone viral. (not the kind of viral like the things that pop up at my house and make me cough for a whole month. like the good kind of viral. the kind that brings in $$$$$$$ and fame and applause. three things that don't happen when you are viral and coughing for a month. 3 things that have also not happened in the past 7 years to the writer of this blog.)

those blogs have been read by zillions of zillions of zillions of people. received thousands of comments to single blog posts. those authors have written books. gone on speaking tours. rented HUGE buses for their speaking tour. stayed in nicer hotels than my mansion in paradise will be. though i do hold out hope that my eternal home (next door to c.s. lewis) will be nicer than these posted by pioneer woman over the years... 

so while pdub has been staying in the creme de la creme financed by her blogging...

in the past 7 years i have been read by a dozen people. the same dozen most of the time. one of my BEST friends never reads my blog. and i don't blame her. she has a pretty full schedule.

but those dozens of friends truly know me and care about me. not just as a writer. but as a person. not because i give them recipes (though people did LOVE that recipe for laundry detergent) not because i give good advice about changing careers (i have no career.) not because i make my readers laugh. or cry. but because they are my friends. my family. (well, technically the ONLY family member that reads my blog is my sister-in-law but i am totally claiming her as family.) you have all kept me in your thoughts and in your prayers. even when you had NO idea what i was blogging about. or why i needed to quote SO MUCH SCRIPTURE to keep my mind where my mind needed to be at that moment. you have never complained about my multiple posts on c.s. lewis. or john piper. or my huge spiritual crush on matt chandler. thank you for not calling me out.

once i received 12 comments to a blog post. it was the post telling people that my mom had died after 2 long weeks in hospice. it was more comforting to read those 12 comments than to read a thousand response to a post about how adorable my basset hound is (i am totally speculating here. i don't have a basset hound and i have never read a thousand responses about the adorableness of said unowned basset hound.) the hardest thing when my old blog closed down was losing those 12 comments. i made a pdf of that page so i could keep it forever. 

i haven't written a book. or even a whole grammatically correct blog post. yet, you all keep reading. and i keep not using capital letters...

my speaking tour consists of lecturing to teenagers. who aren't listening. enough said about that. you wouldn't want me to have to start quoting Scripture again, would you?

i have driven the same car for the past 7 years. though i did decorate it like the scooby doo mystery machine once for a choir tour. not quite jon acuff's start bus. but mine has a certain retro quality to it...

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most of the time when i stay in a hotel it is a holiday inn express. or if i am extremely lucky... a hampton inn. i like hampton inn. you can make a cup of hot tea any time of day. and most of my hotel stays are on youth choir tour. or the night before a cross country meet and i have to check out at 5 am to get to the meet on time.

but this one quote sustains me... and i can't even find the exact quote. and i am a good googler. so i may have made this quote up...

"God's favorite servants always receive His gift of anonymity."

and perhaps this quote doesn't really exist. except in my own mind. maybe the real quote is more like "God gives His gift on anonymity to you because YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE FAME!"

either way, i am His favorite or He knows what i can and can't handle. win/win.

i saw this on a sign once and i loved what it said... 

all i really want to do is spend my life traveling the world, reading books that take my breath away, drinking all kinds of tea, and occasionally write something. i mean is that too much to ask for?

that kind of describes my life. except for the traveling part unless you count choir tour and trips to NYC. and if you do (and i do) then i am quite a traveler.

and even though this blog doesn't bring me fame or fortune... it does help me to think my way through things...

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thank you for reading along while i am thinking. i may never be famous from this blog. but i was never not loved. by dozens of faithful readers...