FROM THE BACK PAGE OF THE MARSHALL CHRISTMAS CARD
I always choose a word of the year. and it always starts with the letter “l” cause my name starts with “l” and it just makes for a fun challenge. especially now that i have used all the “l” words that seemed easy…
lea always has the last word(s)…
our second year as empty nesters found us with more full days. adam drives to bainbridge (about an hour commute) daily to danimer scientific. he is enjoying saving the planet with the production of sustainable, environmentally friendly products that decompose seamlessly. in direct contrast, there seem to be no seamless products in high school theatre productions (though a lot of de-composition.) costumes seams to be sewn, sets to be built, funds to be raised for thespian trips, and rehearsals upon rehearsals after full days of teaching. i continue to love my amazing students, loathe the early mornings/late evenings, and make it all look amusing & exciting on social media. i believe it is exactly what i need to be doing to keep me from watching too many hallmark movies, excessively buying/reading books, and taking any naps whatsoever.
this season of life does have multitudes of joys whilst also holding moments of more melancholy musings. the other day i was pondering the multitude of holes in the fabric of my life. all the places worn thin. feeling all. the. things. that are missing/messy/mundane. the dust & dog hair level in the house because i am rarely home, or barely caring about cleaning when i am there (the disney + lure is real. baby yoda is so cute). the empty refrigerator because trips to publix are hard because those rehearsals are endless & dinner never makes itself & why can’t that be a thing alexa does for us?
there’s also the constant quiet ache of missing my children and the days spent as a presence in their lives and conversations. the friends i needed to call/write, but haven’t taken the time. these were some of the places i felt were more bare threaded holes than threads of holiness. there are a lot of those places these days. rubbed thin and threadbare. worn out from over usage and lack of repair and rest. places wasted and worn. shattered and shorn. just so many holes & mess. so little holiness. then i started picturing a piece of cloth with all those holes. and behold (or be-hole-d) the image sort of resembled something less tragic than torn and tattered fabric. it resembled something more beautiful. hole filled fabric can look something like LACE. precious, beautiful, timelessly elegant lace. i looked up the etymology of LACE (because you know etymologies are one of my favorite things), and i found that it came from the word “lasso” and “string.”
in these days, when i feel tied to so many things that seem to restrict me from doing what i really want to do (which is read books all day long), i find that lasso is an apt description for my days. wrapped & tied to a never-ending to-do list. there are days i am hanging on to sanity by a very thin string or days i am unstrung entirely. but perhaps seeing this hole-y life as precious decorative LACE is a better filter for these days (and i do love a good filter. check my insta-feed.) perhaps a hole-y life seen from another perspective can become holy. to LACE is to fasten or tighten by tying separate things together. i find the greatest joys in my life are laced to the deepest sorrows. dark grief impossibly strung with thin golden laces of hope. endings of one season tied to bright new things beginning.
& speaking of two opposites inextricably tied together, adam and i will celebrate our 30th anniversary on dec. 30th. and by celebrate, i mean he will be working on danimer’s end of the year inventory report & i will be at epcot chaperoning a group of choral students for the weekend. adam said it was the only way we could make my dreams of a european vacation come true as his anniversary gift to me because in epcot, i can visit all the countries in one day! he is still the most hilarious, thrifty, & selfless person that i have ever known.
LACE also means to add an ingredient, to enhance its flavor or strength, to fortify, season, enrich, or enliven. my days are LACED with high schoolers adding lots of flavors (and new phrases and memes), coworkers seasoning me, friends & family enriching with their love and laughter. our sunday school class (i still teach once a month), my book club, and my beloved ninjas enhancing my strength (bearing my weaknesses) by praying for our light & momentary troubles. especially troubles that do not seem light & momentary at the time.
LACE is also a baseball term for to hit hard. i will say that this past year hit hard in some soft places. the days seem to have more shadows and shade. but shadows testify to a sun/Son that shines in the darkness. at the ripened age of 52, i thought i would know more, be more, have more answers. there are places in my life very tattered and torn. but i trust the God who paints beauty with time. He weaves holes into beautiful and precious lace. He is a God of seamless coverings. to everything there is a season & this is a season of LACE.
LACE was an expensive luxury item because of its painstaking, time-consuming production. my life seems to also be a painstaking & time-consuming production. the little seam work that i have done has paled in comparison to the work that has done as so many friends and family members have poured love and care into my every moment here on this earth. i have been loved greatly with an Everlasting Love. given far more Grace than i deserve. every person receiving this card has decorated my days with a variety of artistic lacings. thank you for being a piece of the fabric that covers my frailty, failures, and foibles.
it is no accident that i am starting this newsletter writing on november 26th because that also happens to be the lacemaker’s holiday (thank you catherine of aragon.) it is not a coincidence… but a significant fact in a life intentionally & joyfully LACED together. happy holidays to all of you lacemakers. i hope you find a way to LACE love and laughter into your year. & may you see all those tattered pieces as places to be LACED with His Grace and Glory…
“...lace is formed from the absence of substance; it is imagined in the spaces between the threads. Lace is a thing like hope. It lived, it survived, and it was desired for what it was not. If faith is the substance of things hoped for, then lace is the outline - the suggestion - of things not seen.” {Iris Anthony, The Ruins of Lace}
