as i was half asleep this morning fixing breakfasts and lunch box items for the kids, i had the local news on the telly. my ears perked up when i heard them talking about an attack on a bicycle. since i have been known to ride a bicycle through our fair city. i went closer to the tv to hear this hot news item. the story was about a SQUIRREL attacking a bicycle seat while it was parked on some public bike rack. yes, america- this is newsworthy in tallahassee, florida on the first monday morning in october. who wouldn’t want to live in a city that is large enough to have a local news show and yet the most exciting news is a squirrel/bike incident?
i did start to wonder about the innocent bystander who called this news into the station yesterday... “who has a cell phone? we have got to alert the media! look at what the squirrel is doing! the public must be made aware!” and then the guy or gal who got the assignment.. “hey, jones- get your butt on over to that bike rack on 3rd. there is some action that you have got to see- take a camera man, this is some good footage. pulitzer winner stuff indeed”.
the cameras were there right after the incident (some speedy driving by the news team for sure). however, the squirrel had fled the scene. a witness to the attack got a pretty good close up shot with a cell phone of the guilty party. an apb is out for a gray furry rodent looking creature with a bit of black neoprene stuck between his teeth. not sure if there is a reward for any tips, but being a good citizen is reward enough. they had some interviews with the people on the scene though i never saw a reaction from the bike owner as to why that squirrel targeted that specific bike when there were several others- hmm makes one wonder if that owner had some kind of nutty goodness breakfast that morning. maybe all will be revealed in the evening news... stick around for more at 6 and 11.
(disclaimer- the squirrel featured in the photo is “innocent until proven guilty”. i have NO idea whether or not that picture of a squirrel obtained from a google search is the squirrel now wanted by the local authorities. i will say that after seeing the news story and studying the cell photo intently during the 6 times it was shown in news segment, that it does indeed resemble the squirrel perpetrator. i realize that in publishing this photo to the web that i am opening myself up to any nutso squirrel wanting to sue me for defamation of character, but i say BRING IT ON furball. i have a dog and the ability to purchase a bb gun and i will not live in fear and neither will my bicycle seat.)