a quote to the rescue...

and this one quote helped me....

“We spend a lot of mental energy asking (and answering) the questions of what (what we own, what we want, what is cool, what will make us look good) and where (where we want to live, where we want to travel) and who (who are the best contacts, who do we want to be seen with) and when (when do we want our promotion, or our independence) and how (how do we get more control, how do we win the many games we are playing).
These are not necessarily bad questions, but they can be dangerous when they are not preceded by what should be the first question — why ? It is the why question that causes us to think, and to ponder, and to prioritize, and to pray for guidance and inspiration and insight.
Why do we want what we want? Why do we do what we do? Why is a powerful question because it makes us dig deep and be honest with ourselves, and when we are honest, we know if the answers are good or bad. Answers that relate only to competing, and winning, and appearances, and comfort and ease are not good answers. Answers that relate to the true good of our family, the welfare of others, and the will of God are good answers.
Why is also a good question because answering it honestly often helps to simplify our lives and allow us to break free of the overload. When we don't have a good answer for why we do something, we may be able to stop doing it — to eliminate one more complexity from our lives, and to thus put greater focus and greater priority on a thing that really matters."
Richard Eyre

i asked myself WHY was i killing myself with these bridal showers... and the answer was because i want the college kids and MY kids to know how imprtant marriage is. it is to be celebrated, and showered, and made a big deal of. especially when the world is saying that marriage is NOT important, it is NOT sacred, it is nothing but an agreement between two people and some insurance rights. i want my kids to know that i thought it was SO great and SO wonderful and i knocked myself out having fun showers for people who are getting married. 

i also don’t want my kids to have me put to sleep when i start vomiting and not eating (a la the dog), so i took him to a new vet and hopefully we will get some answers and i will be a good pet owner (though that is going to take a miracle of the Lord).

and WHY do i do the school newsletter? because then i don’t feel guilty saying “NO’ to the 1001 other requests that come daily from the school. PLUS i get to put great inspirational quotes in the newsletter and i hope that makes someone stop and think and figure out WHY they are doing the things they are doing. i know that words challenge me, motivate me, and have changed my mind, my heart, and my focus many times. 

p.s.- i had a filling done at the dentist this morning and as i write this, i keep wiping drool off of my face and i have this lopsided smile thingie going on and it is really funny and maybe i could get out of doing some of the things i do by just appearing in public with this smile and droolly face... what do you think?

breaking news...

as i was half asleep this morning fixing breakfasts and lunch box items for the kids, i had the local news on the telly. my ears perked up when i heard them talking about an attack on a bicycle. since i have been known to ride a bicycle through our fair city. i went closer to the tv to hear this hot news item. the story was about a SQUIRREL attacking a bicycle seat while it was parked on some public bike rack. yes, america- this is newsworthy in tallahassee, florida on the first monday morning in october. who wouldn’t want to live in a city that is large enough to have a local news show and yet the most exciting news is a squirrel/bike incident? 

i did start to wonder about the innocent bystander who called this news into the station yesterday... “who has a cell phone? we have got to alert the media! look at what the squirrel is doing! the public must be made aware!” and then the guy or gal who got the assignment.. “hey, jones- get your butt on over to that bike rack on 3rd. there is some action that you have got to see- take a camera man, this is some good footage. pulitzer winner stuff indeed”.

the cameras were there right after the incident (some speedy driving by the news team for sure). however, the squirrel had fled the scene. a witness to the attack got a pretty good close up shot with a cell phone of the guilty party. an apb is out for a gray furry rodent looking creature with a bit of black neoprene stuck between his teeth. not sure if there is a reward for any tips, but being a good citizen is reward enough. they had some interviews with the people on the scene though i never saw a reaction from the bike owner as to why that squirrel targeted that specific bike when there were several others- hmm makes one wonder if that owner had some kind of nutty goodness breakfast that morning. maybe all will be revealed in the evening news... stick around for more at 6 and 11.

Transient

(disclaimer- the squirrel featured in the photo is “innocent until proven guilty”. i have NO idea whether or not that picture of a squirrel obtained from a google search is the squirrel now wanted by the local authorities. i will say that after seeing the news story and studying the cell photo intently during the 6 times it was shown in news segment, that it does indeed resemble the squirrel perpetrator. i realize that in publishing this photo to the web that i am opening myself up to any nutso squirrel wanting to sue me for defamation of character, but i say BRING IT ON furball. i have a dog and the ability to purchase a bb gun and i will not live in fear and neither will my bicycle seat.)

cia agents...

Transient

Center for Injured Animals- that is... maxx and rosie (with our neighbor and car pool buddy, Harrison Reid) found this tiny baby hairless little rat looking thing in the yard. we found out through my incredible ability to google words like “tiny hairless baby animal backyard” that it was a baby squirrel. animal lovers that they are (notice i left myself out of that description), they made it a little home in a box and would not rest until i called around to find out where we could take it so it would be “saved”. one more live squirrel in the world, thanks to my kids. 

when we got home from our run to the st. francis rescue place, harrison asked me in this sweet little concerned voice, “did we do the right thing?” “yes”, i assured him. yes, they did, and they even made ME do the right thing on a late friday afternoon when i wanted nothing better than to put up my feet and read all the magazines that came in the mail this week and veg out and forget that i had to sit and intently listen to a criminal trial on the jury that i was chosen for this week. some times it has to be enough that we “do the right thing” with the small seemingly insignificant tasks that are presented to us everyday. even when the big things we have to do seem so big and overwhelming.

in light of the fact that i had the horrific jury duty trial this week (and now i know why they call it a “trial”), i think it is significant in some small way that i helped to save a baby squirrel today. i know that it cannot make up for the lives that have been torn apart by sin in this world. those lives that i got to see first hand this week in a courtroom. lives that i will remember for a long time and pray for whenever God brings them to my heart and mind. but i do feel like saving this little helpless baby animal made a spark of light in a very dark week.

“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And when you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks into you.” (nietzsche) 

i feel like i looked into the abyss this week, looked into a dark hole and saw how horrible life can be and so many times, i asked God “why?”.  why didn’t he get help early on when it was so clear that he was not “right?  why did she go with him when she felt like it was wrong? why is my life so “perfect”? why is there such sadness, heartbreak, and waste to our lives? why can’t there be a better solution than prison or mental hospital? will his kids always ask “why”? will i always ask “why”?

then today i saved a baby squirrel with my kids ( send my medal to me immediately).

the abyss may look back at me, but it has not swallowed me whole. if you know me very well, you know that i have a j.j. abrahms view on life (the creator of the t.v. show “lost” and ooh i can’t wait to see “6 degrees” this fall)- it ALL matters, it ALL is important, it ALL makes us who we are, EVERY detail, EVERYthing that happens is for a reason. i see God’s handiwork in EVERYthing and i can’t thank Him enough for a hairless helpless baby squirrel that needed saving, because i think it wasn’t really the squirrel that needed to be saved today...