race face part 2...

so do you remember this painful and yet adorable race face from last year...​

here is one from more recently... last night...​

running is hard. and she came by that pained look on her race face very naturally, she got it from her mama.​

i make that face whenever i have to run the race of life (which is pretty much daily.) i grimace. i sweat. i cry. my stomach hurts. i feel like i might throw up. or give up. or hit someone up for an easier ride...

but thankfully rosie was making that face seconds from the finish line. she hates to run. but she loves to finish. she got that from her mama too. ​

2 Timothy 4:7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,

at least God doesn't tell us that we have to run the race with any other emotion other than perseverance. whew. though He could have said "walk the race." or "have someone carry you through the race." or "the race has been cancelled and there are doughnuts instead." but even the message version still uses the word RACE. and RUN. ​darn you message version. where are the doughnuts?

2 Timothy 4:6-8 (the message) This is the only race worth running. I’ve run hard right to the finish, believed all the way. All that’s left now is the shouting—God’s applause!

​maybe in the "leamarshall get the message" version it reads... all that's left now is the shouting and the doughnuts- God's applause.

race face...

i wouldn’t say that my kids LOVE to run. they LOVE to be done with the run.

i know how they feel. i think my face perpetually has that same grimace on it on some days. but it is the running that is the part that is good for us. that makes us feel good when it is done. it is the running that trains us. that strengthens us. that gets our blood pumping. our endorphins racing. 

here are some GREAT things that fed my soul this week. things that made the run easier. things that ease that grimace of pain from my face and replace it with a hopeful peace and quiet trust in the God of the run. the author and perfecter of this race...

Learn much of the Lord Jesus.
For every look at yourself take ten looks at Christ.
He is altogether lovely. . . .
Live much in the smiles of God.
Bask in his beams.
Feel his all-seeing eye settled on you in love.
And repose in his almighty arms. 

          {robert murray mccheyne}

strange how that it is — 

that sometimes something has to fall apart — 

for something better to fall together.

{ann voskamp- from her blog post “when things are falling apart”}

“Weep not.

 Pray to God with all your heart. 

To pray often is almost to conquer.”

2 Corinthians 1:9-11

Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. 

But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. 

He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and He will deliver us. 

On Him we have set our hope that He will deliver us again. 

You also must help us by prayer, 

so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many.

and this article about students who “graduate from God”. granted it doesn’t really sound like good news at first glance but the part about what helps students to be able to mature in their faith were very beneficial...

Intergenerational relationships were found to be enormously beneficial to students, according to Kara Powell, executive director of the Center for Youth and Family Ministry. The College Transition study will be measuring components such as intergenerational community, parents, and youth groups that impact the move into college life.

Powell pointed out a significant finding from the initial study. "One of the most interesting findings from that pilot project was the importance of doubt in a student's faith maturity. The more college students felt that they had the opportunity to express their doubt while they were in high school, the higher levels of faith maturity and spiritual maturity [they had]."

"Whether it was with the youth group overall or with a specific adult leader, students who had the opportunity to struggle with tough questions and pain during high school seemed to have a healthier transition into college life," stated the study by Powell and Krista Kubiak, youth worker and graduate of the Marriage and Family program at Fuller.

Deuteronomy 33:12

About Benjamin (and i think i can safely add my own name here) he said:

   “Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in Him,
   for He shields him all day long,
   and the one the LORD loves rests between His shoulders.”

these last quotes are from a GREAT book (that i listened to as an audio book. only $5.95 from itunes. if you have a 2-3 hours car trip coming up it would be a VERY worthwhile listen.) i drove up to carrolton for maxx’s cross country meet and it was a BEAUTIFUL story (and in God’s perfect timing for me to hear with my ears and my heart) about parenting, about grace, and about the character of God...

I hear religious-minded people say all the time with good intentions, "God will never place a burden on you so heavy that you cannot carry it."

Really?

My experience is that God will place a burden on you so heavy that you cannot possibly carry it alone. He will break your back and your will. He will buckle your legs until you fall flat beneath the crushing weight of your load. All the while He will walk beside you waiting for you to come to the point where you must depend on Him.

"My power is made perfect in your weakness," He says, as we strain under our burden.

Whatever the burden, it might indeed get worse, but I know this--God is faithful. And while we change and get old, He does not. When we get weaker, He remains strong. And in our weakness and humility, He offers us true, lasting, transforming and undeserved grace.

         Greg Lucas in Wrestling with an Angel

beneath the death grip of every parent holding tightly to their special child is the strong, reliable and gentle hand of a Father who will never let go- the Deliverer, the Surgeon, the reliable object of our faith. Suffering reveals our need, and our need reveals the Savior. He will direct your life in whatever way is necessary to loosen your grip- not to take something away, but to make possible more than you ever hoped for or imagined. This is the grip of grace...

             Greg Lucas in Wrestling with an Angel

But perhaps the sweetest discover of all was learning more and more about the character of my Heavenly Father through the struggles of my disabled son. It is one thing to read about His faithfulness, to talk about His mercy and to write about His grace. But to experience these things face to face requires a heavenly vision that can only be obtained by walking through the suffering of His Providence and coming to the realization that the darkness that I have experienced is actually the shadowing shelter of my ever present Father. It is in this shadow that I have wrestled with an angel until the breaking of today. And even though I now feel beaten and broken from battle, the limp that carries me away from this sacred place forever reminds me that I have been touched by the Hand of the Almighty. And by Grace I have prevailed...

            Greg Lucas in Wrestling with an Angel

look closely...

Look closely. The beautiful may be small.

{emmanuel kant}

that is one of my favorite quotes. and when i take my walk everyday i have been taking one photo of one small beautiful thing. i use the instagram app on my iphone to take the photo. it also allows me to add some cool effects and then email myself the photo (or put it on facebook or twitter). 

i am in a season where the beautiful is hard to find somedays. i see the BIG AND UGLY much easier. my mind wants to fixate on all that is wrong and how i should have done things better and different. and so taking these photos remind me to look. to appreciate. to see God’s goodness in the land of the living. they remind me to look. and to see the beautiful. though it is small. it is there. it is always there. in different places. in vivid colors. sizes. shapes. but beautiful. and reassuring that God is not silent. He is not passive. He is active and alive. and at work. making all things beautiful in their time.

Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.  Psalm 34:4-6

Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.  Psalm 105:4

As the eyes of slaves look to the hand of their master, as the eyes of a female slave look to the hand of her mistress, so our eyes look to the LORD our God, till he shows us his mercy.  Psalm 123:1-3

Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one and calls forth each of them by name. Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing. Isaiah 40:25-27

move it or lose it...

​if i don’t “move it” everyday, i will “lose it” and the “it” is my mind. and 12 steps of forward progress on the sanctification scale. hmmm, is there a sanctification scale? not stepping on to weigh myself on that on anytime soon...

or a regular scale either. just thought i would add that for clarity.

so let’s run right toward the second of the two things that i KNOW that i need, Lord help my UNKNOWING... 

i need to exercise (and eating well kind of falls into this category also). ugh. and ugh. and huge sigh of remorse inserted here...

it is a lesson that i THOUGHT i learned a few years ago. when i started running everyday and loved running. i kind of got obsessed with it. lost myself in the pursuit of skinnyness (hard to imagine if you look at me now). i wasn’t exercising for health’s sake. but for vanity. and i got lost in it. the pursuit. 

really lost. like a year of my life where i exercised 5 hours or more a day. ate less than 1000 calories a day and wrote down everything that went into my mouth kind of lost. where it is the ONE thing that matters most in your life. and it is how you judge whether you are good or bad by how many calories you won or lost that day.

but i am trying to remember what was good about those days, what was not obsession but just healthy. and it was the running part. i LOVED the running just for running’s sake. i know... crazy talk. and i still love it. i just love it at a slower pace. and mixed with some walking. not counting every calorie and measuring and freaking out if i am “over” for the day and panicking. that wasn’t healthy. but NOT exercising because i am afraid of going over into the dark side, isn’t healthy either. it is just another dark side.

i am a bit like the israelites in the old testament. one season OVER OBSESSIVE about the temple and how it looked and the next season FORGETTING TOTALLY about the temple and letting it fall into ruin. there is a middle place. a healthy place.

in my short term memory life of the oh so DAILY  i forget that i LOVE to run. that i NEED it. until i am actually running. 5 minutes before i run, i hate it. then a few steps into it... LOVE. and then the rest of the day as i am a more loving and gracious and joyful person because i have stretched my body and done what it needs to be healthy. 

but the next day, i forget it again. 

i forgot it for a few years. then a month ago, i started running again. i had been walking pretty faithfully for about 6 months. but one day i heard a song on my ipod that made me want to run. and so i ran. slow. but steady. and now i am up to about 3 miles a day.

when i remember that i love to run. but every day i seem to forget...

i think something akin to this happens...

luke 9:14

The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, 

but as they go on their way they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures,

 and they do not mature.

life’s worries, riches, and pleasures choke me. and make me forget what i KNOW. and i do not mature. i keep learning the same lessons again. insane. as einstein defined it...

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. 

{albert einstein} 

i KNOW that i am a physical being. that i have physical limits given to me by God. unique ones. i must sleep and i must exercise and i must control what i eat. that is how He made me. and He made me that way for a reason. a Good reason. 

maybe i have to run because running is my favorite time to listen to sermons (i am in the middle of ephesians series with matt chandler right now, plus i listened to his current one on authority: government and institutions while i ran on tuesday to the church outside my neighborhood where i vote. it was a great one to listen to while going to vote.) somedays i am not in a sermony mood and just listen to music. mostly worship and praise music. with a couple of christina aquilera tunes thrown in for good measure. which might be the only times the words “worship and praise” and “christina aquilera” were ever used in back to back succession.

perhaps it is the only time that God can pry me away from my million and one things i must do or die list and focus completely on His voice. on learning more. on loving more. on living more fully.

yesterday during my run (maxx, my cross country boy call my running “run-ish” because i go so slow) i listened to the  song “i am running” by klaus (not santa) here are the lyrics... here is why i want to run...

“I hear the voice

It’s the voice of the One I love

He’s calling my name

I hear the voice

The voice of the One I love,

He’s calling my  name

He’s saying…

“Come up higher

I hear the angels sing

Come up higher, my beloved

Come up higher and leave this world behind

I find you to be beautiful.”

I am running, running after You

You’ve become my soul’s delight

I am running, running after You

Here with You I find my life.”

i feel beautiful when i run. not the world’s definition of beauty because God knows that is not how i must look when i run (and thank God there are no mirrors out where i run) but i feel beautiful by some other standard. some much more important standard. and not so fickle and finite.

Eric Liddell: I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure. 

lea marshall: i believe God made me for a purpose, but He also made me slow. and when i run i feel His pleasure.

psalm 119: 32 

I run in the path of Your commands,
for You have broadened my understanding.

hebrews 12:1-2

... let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 

fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith.

my prayer is that KNOWING that i have physical limits and that they are for my GOOD and that He has created me to NEED physical exercise every day will sink deep today... and tomorrow... and the day after that.

What matters is not the idea a man holds,

but the depth at which he holds it.

{ezra pound}

run the race...

there are a gazillion and one reasons to love this boy. but his face as he finishes a race is on the top of my list. 

he finishes looking like it has killed him. as his cross country coach says, “he leaves nothing out there. he puts it all in each practice and each race”. he doesn’t finish first. or in the top ten. but he finishes strong. and tired. and happy (even though it doesn’t look like it for about 5 minutes as he walks around trying to breathe).

Ecclesiastes 9:11

 I have seen something else under the sun:
The race is not to the swift
or the battle to the strong,
nor does food come to the wise
or wealth to the brilliant
or favor to the learned;
but time and chance happen to them all.

Hebrews 12:1

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, 

let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, 

and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

1 Corinthians 9:24

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? 

Run in such a way as to get the prize.

he is going to get a prize one day. not the one for the fastest runner. but maybe for the one that tried the hardest. 

in case you are wondering, the pink socks are a race day staple. his coach’s wife (and two of his teammates’ mother) died of breast cancer a few years ago) and at the state finals they always wear their pink socks in her memory. 

and by the way... his time did qualify him for state this year. so we will be going to lakeland to watch him race one more time. 

God has a character goal for you to attain in this life, 

and by his unrelenting grace and mercy 

you are going to get there. 

(even if it almost kills you in the process)

{from broken down house by paul david tripp , addition by lea marshall}