is it hot in here...

really? is this some kind of joke? on the busiest day in the busiest month. leading up to a weekend that is packed so full that a gnat couldn’t squeeze in between events. it is on this day that rosalea wakes up with a fever. a high fever. she was perfectly fine last night. ate well. played basketball in the driveway until it was dark. folded her laundry. no hint of a fever lurking behind that cars t.shirt and steeler baseball cap on her head.

on a day when i saved ALL the stuff i have to do into one massive running around day (so that i didn’t make lots of little trips and waste gas all week). really, i wasn’t planning on being home any today. from 9 a.m. until 11:00 p.m. i am booked solid. well, i WAS booked solid is a more accurate statement. 

a fever is a fever is a fever. and as tightly as i hold onto my plans God likes to pry them out of my hands sometimes. just to remind me that He is God. and His plans are better than mine (but mine were really really really good and were color coded on the schedule and printed out and sometimes laminated). He likes to remind me often that He is Sovereign and Wiser and All-Knowing and a lot of ALL-other things too. sometimes He reminds me a couple of times a day. He is a very persistent Teacher. really likes the hands on lessons. 

which reminds me of this quote which i like to say to OTHER people and occasionally need to say it to myself...

“God has a character goal for you to attain in this life, 

and by His unrelenting grace and mercy you are going to get there.” 

{paul tripp}

seems my character goal might be to NOT THINK I AM IN CONTROL. and i guess i haven’t reached it yet because i am not in heaven and He is continually reminding me that He is working here in my life. doing a little deconstruction and reconstruction and that He is building something beautiful. 

here are few more gems from mr. tripp that i might want to memorize (b.t.w.he has the bushiest mustache that i have EVER seen. it looks like a caterpillar has taken up residence on his upper lip. is that why he is so wise? i have no hope then)...

The question is not, When will we get what we are waiting for?,but What we will become as we wait?

My greatest problem isn’t external, environmental, and circumstantial. It’s internal, personal, and moral.

We cannot change anyone’s heart—

we’re just tools of change in the hands of a powerful, wise, and loving Redeemer.

When we attempt to do God’s job and change someone's heart, 

we only cause frustration to ourselves and pain to the other person.

Eight control issues we all struggle with: 

1) You Will Be Confronted with Your Lack of Control, 

2) You Will Wish You Had More Power

3) You Will Be Tempted to Think Your World Is Out of Control, 

4) You Will Fear the Power of Another

5) You Will Be Tempted to Question God’s Wisdom and Love, 

6) You Will Think That Rest Requires Understanding

7) Someone Else’s Life Will Look Better Than Yours, 

8) But…You Will Reach a Place of Greater Rest in God’s Rule

As God continues to mature you, you will repeatedly run through this cycle. 

At no point will He leave you alone to flounder.

Admitting your limits is not a sign of weakness. It is an essential ingredient of mature faith.

He knows this is hard; He lived it. He invites you to stop trying to figure it out--just sit at his feet & learn his mysteries.

We are called to wait because God is sovereign: we are not writing our own stories.

We are called to wait because God is a God of grace: 

it’s not only about the end of the wait. It’s about what you become as you wait.

We are called to wait for the increase of God’s glory: In waiting I surrender my glory and submit to his.

Realize That Waiting Is Active: It is positive, purposeful & spiritual, 

the activity of remembering who I am and who God is.

Do not be content with avoiding, surviving, or regretting the darkness. 

You are called to shine redemptive light into the darkness.

fear and trembling...

which doesn’t describe cute engaged couple, amanda and shawn at all... but they should have been VERY afraid when i took them to take photos outside “bert’s motel” outside of monticello. it is a scary, run down, who know what is hanging out there kind of place. but we did get some amazing photos there and in the fun town of monticello.

but i digress.

and onto my thing to KNOW for today...

i am currently trying to memorize philippians chapter 2 (well, most of it). don’t get all jealous of my spirituality. because i am only halfway through the first verse and should wrap this whole chapter up by memory about the time rosie wheels me into the extended care home. rosie will be the one to wheel me in because there are a lot of days that i think she is the only one who likes me. but she is young. she has time to learn to roll her eyes at my every statement..

in case you haven’t memorized philippians chapter 2 (well, most of it) yet (and who hasn’t? oh, yeah ME. i haven’t) here it is for your edification... and i have marked in red the portion that i know from memory. be prepared to be awed...

Philippians 2

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, 

if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, 

if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, 

having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. 

Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 

not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

 Who, being in very nature God,
   did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
rather, he made himself nothing
   by taking the very nature of a servant,
   being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
   he humbled himself
   by becoming obedient to death—
      even death on a cross!

 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
   and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
   in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
   to the glory of God the Father.

 Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—

not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—

continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, 

for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.

 Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, 

“children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” 

Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life. 

And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain. 

But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, 

I am glad and rejoice with all of you. So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.

okay so the portion that i have memorized is not that awe inspiring. but this will awe you. 

these lines... “continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill His good purpose.” really struck me this week.

i knew the “continue to work out” meant not that we WORK out our salvation but that we “live it out in the things that we do. we show our salvation to the world” through how we act. the fruit of the Spirit in our daily interactions. loving as Christ loves, serving as He serves, forgiving as He forgives... NOT to earn salvation but a “work it baby work it” kind of working. which may not translate well into writing but when i say it out loud it makes sense. if you say, “work it baby work it” like you say when someone is posing for a photo.

i decided to look up that “fear and trembling part” in the greek. and even though it was “all greek to me” (that joke never gets old... to me), here is what it means...

“with fear and trembling, used to describe the anxiety of one who distrusts his ability completely to meet all requirements, but religiously does his utmost to fulfill his duty”

the anxiety of one who distrusts her ability completely to meet all requirements but religiously does her utmost to fulfill her duty. that certainly sounds like how i live my life. 

i parent with fear and trembling. i know i cannot be the perfect mom. but i keep trying to do my utmost. which falls far short of the ideal.

i am a friend that fears and trembles. there are so many times that i just don’t know WHAT to do to help a friend whose heart is breaking, whose world is shaking. and i know that i cannot meet all the requirements of friendship. but i do my utmost. which is pitiful at best. and at worst is like job’s three friends who never look good through the entire chapter and make me want to slap them. and yet, i tend to be just like all three of them at times.

side note from wikepedia about job’s three friends... Speeches of Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar

Job's friends do not waver from their belief that Job must have sinned to incite God's punishment. As the speeches progress, Job's friends increasingly berate him for refusing to confess his sins, although they themselves are at a loss as to which sin he has committed. They also assume, in their view of theology, that God always rewards good and punishes evil, with no apparent exceptions allowed. There seems to be no room in their understanding of God for divine discretion and mystery in allowing and arranging suffering for purposes other than retribution. 

sometimes i just love wickepedia...

now back to our regularly schedule blog on “fear and trembling”...

i am a wife who fears and trembles. not because my husband is cruel. but because i know that i am far from the wife he needs sometimes. i am not the wife of the year. the month. the day. or even of this next 5 minutes (especially since i am blogging instead of making dinner). 

i distrust my abilities COMPLETELY. when i look at my husband and i say “you complete me” (from jerry macquire movie and one of my least favorite movie lines EVER along with “love means never having to say your are sorry” from love story) all i really mean is that i know because of my selfishness that the only thing that is complete in me is my distrust of my abilities to be able to love him as Christ has told me to love him... and my children... and my friends... and the guy on the corner asking for a handout. i distrust my abilities to love them like God has told me to love them.

which according to this verse is a really good place to be... distrusting of ourselves (so take that all you self esteem gurus...)

because the next part of the verse is the really important part “for (which means INDEED) it is God who works in me to will and to act in order to fulfill His good purpose.”

there is a Perfect Parent. a Perfect Friend. a Perfect Spouse. and He works in me. i have complete trust in His abilities. and complete distrust in my own. 

here are three great quotes that came my way this week about what i need to KNOW this KNOWvember. Lord help my unKNOWing...

I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, 

hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won't have to die. 

The truth is that you will die anyway 

and that a lot of people who aren't even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, 

and have a lot more fun while they're doing it.  {anne lamott}

The end of faith is not knowing, the end of faith is living. 

Knowing is an essential step along the way.

 {paul david tripp}

Discipleship isn’t about increasing your knowledge…

it’s putting your knowledge into action. 

{relevant magazine}

run the race...

there are a gazillion and one reasons to love this boy. but his face as he finishes a race is on the top of my list. 

he finishes looking like it has killed him. as his cross country coach says, “he leaves nothing out there. he puts it all in each practice and each race”. he doesn’t finish first. or in the top ten. but he finishes strong. and tired. and happy (even though it doesn’t look like it for about 5 minutes as he walks around trying to breathe).

Ecclesiastes 9:11

 I have seen something else under the sun:
The race is not to the swift
or the battle to the strong,
nor does food come to the wise
or wealth to the brilliant
or favor to the learned;
but time and chance happen to them all.

Hebrews 12:1

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, 

let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, 

and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

1 Corinthians 9:24

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? 

Run in such a way as to get the prize.

he is going to get a prize one day. not the one for the fastest runner. but maybe for the one that tried the hardest. 

in case you are wondering, the pink socks are a race day staple. his coach’s wife (and two of his teammates’ mother) died of breast cancer a few years ago) and at the state finals they always wear their pink socks in her memory. 

and by the way... his time did qualify him for state this year. so we will be going to lakeland to watch him race one more time. 

God has a character goal for you to attain in this life, 

and by his unrelenting grace and mercy 

you are going to get there. 

(even if it almost kills you in the process)

{from broken down house by paul david tripp , addition by lea marshall}

peace...

this was millie’s t.shirt design for the peace jam club at her high school. it was not chosen. 

which is sad because i totally wanted to wear one.

and i know that several of you would have wanted one too. 

this week and next week will complete the trilogy of OPEN HOUSES. three kids in three different schools means three nights of open houses. i try to leave a bit of margin in my schedule... but three open house nights all within two weeks kind of fills up those margins.

plus this week was just a week full of realizing that we live in a broken world (which isn’t a new revelation to me). i enjoyed God’s grace in sending me via the internet (yeah, He emails me. doesn’t He email you? hmmm, i must be His favorite) sections of paul david tripp’s new book “broken down house”. 

here are a couple of parts that REALLY encouraged me this week... and i hope that they will encourage you today as you live and love and look around your broken down house...

Picture a broken down house. We’ve all seen them—sagging and dilapidated dwellings that look as if they are in physical pain. You wonder what the house once looked like, who lived in it, and how it got into such a miserable condition. Some of us look at this kind of house and are simply overwhelmed. We quickly move on, not for a moment considering the possibility of restoration. Others of us immediately see potential. We can’t wait to get our hands on the mess and restore it to its former beauty. Sin has ravaged the beautiful house that God created. It sits in slumped and disheveled pain, groaning for the restoration that can only be accomplished by the hands of him who built it in the first place. The good news is that the divine Builder will not relent until everything about his house is made totally new again. The bad news is that you and I are living right in the middle of the restoration process. We live each day in a house that is terribly broken, where nothing works exactly as intended. But Emmanuel lives here as well, and he is at work returning his house to its former beauty. Often it doesn’t look like any real restoration is going on at all. Things seem to get messier, uglier, and less functional all the time. But that’s the way it is with restoration; things generally get worse before they get better. Someday you will live forever in a fully restored house. But right now you are called to live with peace, joy, and productivity in a place that has been sadly damaged by sin. How can you live above the damage? Even better, how can you be an active part of the restoration that is at the heart of God’s plan of redemption? That is what Broken Down House is all about.

Yes, you are living in a broken-down house. Here, you will face discouragement, danger, disappointment, and grief. There will be times when life will seem overwhelmingly hard. There will be broken-plumbing, shattered-glass moments when it seems like this world can never be and will never be restored. Sometimes you will wonder if it is all worth it.

But you can, beyond any question, live productively in this broken world. There are things worth living for and things worthy of celebration. You can, beyond any question, be one of God’s tools of rescue and restoration. You can live a restoration lifestyle with the sure expectation that one day he will look into your eyes, put a tender hand on your tired shoulder, and say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” You can do these things, and know these things, because of grace.

For there is coming a day when the final triumph of God’s grace will be manifested, and we will see a new heaven and a new earth. The house will be completely and perfectly restored and we will celebrate our perfected dwelling forever. Until then, however, here’s what you need to remember.

There is never a situation, location, or relationship that you enter alone. Your Lord is not away somewhere and he never sleeps. He never greets your calls with a busy signal. He is never too tired or too busy to respond. He will never threaten that he is at the end of his rope with you. He will not grow weary of your inconsistencies, bored with your ambivalence, or irritated when once again you fall short.He will never mock your ignorance or weakness, and he does not cruelly throw your failure in your face.

His loving face will always be toward you and, because of the cross, you will never see the back of his head. He will meet your moment-by-moment needs—providing strength from his Spirit, wisdom from his Word, resources from the Body of Christ, forgiveness that is your daily need, and deliverance from constant temptation. Even the trials he sends your way will supply what you need: the character to live for him more effectively. These are all evidences of his commitment to you, that you might be who you are supposed to be and do what he has created you to do.

This is the God of grace who calls you to resist passivity and discouragement. He calls you to fight the urge to give in or give up. He calls you to live with perseverance now and to invest wholeheartedly in what is to come. He calls you to hold firmly to the same thing believed by all the saints who have gone before us: “that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him” (Hebrews 11:6).

In this broken world you need a place to run for comfort, encouragement, motivation, strength, and rest. There is no better place to run than into the arms of the One who reigns over it all for your sake. No, you won’t always understand. Yes, there will be moments when life will seem overwhelmingly difficult. Sure, you will wonder why he has chosen you to go through what you are enduring when the person next to you seems to have it so easy. And there will be times when you are tempted to question his wisdom and love. But in those moments, determine to do this one thing. Determine to run to him and not from him. Run to him with your questions, doubts, confusion, and fear. He loves you; he will not turn you away. He wants you to know rest. This is precisely what he has told you again and again in his Word—that he is in control, so that in those moments when you are confronted with your lack of control, or when life seems out of control, you would know peace. Not because you understand what is happening, but because you know and trust your Father.

...the enemy will spin out endless variations of the lie that he first told in the Garden and has been repeating ever since. This lie is meant to discourage and divert you. It is meant to force you into moral timidity and ethical paralysis. Everyone who has been given the humility to see himself with accuracy, everyone who has come to admit that he might, in fact, be something less than righteous in himself, is susceptible to this lie. This lie even grows in plausibility when you examine your track record or assess this fallen world honestly. The essence of this horrible, deceptive, and ultimately blasphemous lie can be expressed in just four words, words that have the power to alter how you live. Here they are: “You don’t have enough.”

My greatest need does not derive from the fact that the brokenness of the Fall fractures every situation, every relationship, and every context. Yes, all my relationships are flawed in some way. And no, the world around me does not operate as God intended. But this environmental brokenness is not my greatest, deepest, most abiding problem. No matter what I face in this fallen world, my greatest problem in life exists inside of me and not outside of me. My greatest problem isn’t external, environmental, and circumstantial. It’s internal, personal, and moral.

you can read more from the book at this shepherd press book site for broken down house... up at the top of the page are chapter titles and you can read excerpts from each chapter. this book is going in my amazon cart and it may be my #1 birthday wish (which is coming up in less than a month for those of you who want to shop early)...